acronyms versus abbreviations

James Landau jjjrlandau at EARTHLINK.NET
Sat Feb 25 14:57:07 UTC 2006

> ------------------------------
> Date:    Fri, 24 Feb 2006 15:25:11 -0500
> From:    Wilson Gray <hwgray at GMAIL.COM>
> Subject: Re: acronyms versus abbreviations
> Jim, are you pulling a Larry, trying to slip in a pun instead of
> seriously asking for information? Bad boy! ;-)
> FWIW, I once had a sumer job circumsising elephants for the St. Louis
> Zoo. The pay was only minimum wage, but the tips were HUGE!
> -Wilson
> On 2/24/06, Landau, James <James.Landau at> wrote:
> > ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> > Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> > Poster:       "Landau, James" <James.Landau at NGC.COM>
> > Subject:      Re: acronyms versus abbreviations
> >
> >
> > Aside to Wilson Gray:  The existence of "neo-blaxploitation" filmmakers
> > implies that at one time there was a "Classic Age" of blaxploitation
> > films.  Correct?
> >
> >       - Jim Landau
> >
> >  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> >
> > How do you circumcize a whale?  You use four skin divers.
> >

       The Prince of W(h)ales
      copyright (C) 1977 by James A. Landau

The Prince of Wales he heard some tales of wealthy Saxony
He heard some more, sent agents o'er, to see what they could see
They looked around and thought they saw an easy victory
Said the Prince of Wales, "Let's all set sail and plunder long with me"

So the British force set on a course to raid the Saxon realm
Their foe King George they would engorge and stomp and overwhelm
They'd plunder all the Saxon towns without the slightest qualm
But they made much noise and George formed his boys and showed an icy calm

Now George studied all 'bout Hannibal in college winter term
"No thing unenhanced will stand a chance against a pachyderm"
So he contracted with the Hindus' biggest elephant training firm
To bring their beasts in from the East to stomp on the British worm

The Hindus would insist if they could on the greatness of the East
They said they'd need so the serfs would heed officer's rank at least
Professional grade they pleaded for; King George could find no peace
So a rank appeared: "elephant engineer" and their complaints did cease

Each new engineer then gave three cheers,  got ready for the war
They built a rack on each elephant's back to hold their weapons of gore
They led their beasts atop the hill the British were before
On signal the Saxons would jump in the racks and downhill the beast would

But the Prince of Wales could almost feel that there was something wrong
If the foe were led by a wise old head they would attack ere long
He figured they'd make a night assault just like the Viet Cong
So he hid his men in a cliffside glen, an ambush very strong

The Saxon ranks on their pachyderm tanks set out for their meeting with fate
Of the British mission they had no suspicion until it was too late
The British blew horns, threw cherry bombs, and banged on dinner plates
They used anti-tank missiles and London police whistles and everything
elephants hate

With all that noise the elephant boys found they could not cope
Their beasts were scared and bucked and rared and burst their backpack ropes
The men jumped out, the racks rolled off and rambled down the slopes
The noise that rose aroused their foes while it dashed the Saxon hopes

The noise was loud, Wales' men were cowed, and thought the end was near
Each Brition, scared, said "Ach, my laird, are we attacked in the rear?"
But the Prince of Wales calmed down his men and said, "There's naught to
Just the rambling racks of George of Saxony's elephant engineers"

     - James A. Landau
      (with thanks to Sherna Comerford for help with the scansion)

The American Dialect Society -

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