Be-bop recitatiion no.2

[Jonathan Lighter]

*Real* boss, Wilson.

  JL

Wilson Gray <hwgray at GMAIL.COM> wrote:
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Sender: American Dialect Society
Poster: Wilson Gray
Subject: Be-bop recitatiion no.2
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The Be-Bop Santa Claus
by
Lee "Babs Gonzales" Brown

'Twas the black before Christmas
And, all through the dorm,
The scene was deserted,
But for old Pops and Mom.
There they sat, hung.
In their big easychair,
Goofed on sherry, eggnog, and beer.
Sis and Little Junior lie snoozing in bed,
While visions of Cadillacs dance in their heads.
Moms jumped up and said to Pops,
"Let's quit it to bed.
We can't let Santa catch us with our eyes all red."
Then, out on the stoop, oo-wee! such a clatter
That Pops split to the porthole to see what was the matter.
His heart did the jumps and he fell straight back,
When his glimmers fell on a red Cadillac.
Stashed in front was a cat cool as any,
With a red beaver Stetson on and a red cashmere benny.
His ground pads was red shoes
And his red tweed vine cost heavy dues.
He wore a red-on-red shirt and a white mink tie
And some crazy-rimmed glasses that covered one eye.
Old Pop's peepers grew large, round, and white
As he dug this vista on Christmas-Eve night!
The cat sprang from his short and laid down his sack.
He began whaling like mad the cool "Applejack."
Then, up to the rooftops the Cadillac flew
And The Cat In Red followed on through.
Pops was wigged behind this crazy scene
And, before he was straight,
Down came the cat through the chimney grate.
A bag of jive he had on his back,
As he stood digging Pops, who was blowing his stack.
His eyeballs was hid by some coal-black shades
And old Pops knew that this cat was made.
A king-sized cigarette hung from his chops
As he eased in close and sounded on Pops.
"I'm The Be-Bop Santa from the cool North Pole
"And I've been down since the days of old.
"I'm known all over, from here to eternity,
"And a stud's real square, if he don't dig me!
"So, cast thine eyes in my righteous bag and see
"What insane object I shall lay on thee!
"Here's a record cut by Diz, before he was two,
"A real boss arrangement of 'Ool-Ya-Koo.'
"For Moms, a mink outfit and Chanel No.5.
"And for you, little kiddies, my new book on jive."
"So, that's it, Pops!" Santa did shout.
Then he buttoned his cashmere and quickly cut out.
Pops was wigging and he was out of his head
To dig this character who was dresssed all in red.
He split to the kitchen to cop him a drink
And to calm his nerves and help him to think.
Just then, from above his head, someone did shout,
"Have a crazy, cool Christmas and knock yourself out!"

Date: 1955 per www.randysrodeo.com

-Wilson Gray

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The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org