"Replaced by a two-inch clamp"

Baker, John JMB at STRADLEY.COM
Wed Nov 1 03:34:08 UTC 2006


I believe this is completely innocent of any sexual undertones.  It's simply a variation on telling a worker "You could be replaced by X," where X is some sort of machine or device.  A two-inch clamp, of course, is about the simplest and most inexpensive such replacement imaginable.
 
John Baker
 

________________________________

From: American Dialect Society on behalf of Sally Donlon
Sent: Tue 10/31/2006 2:12 PM
To: ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU
Subject: Re: "Replaced by a two-inch clamp"



I think reading sexual undertones into the "two-inch clamp"
expression is definitely far-fetched. Such a clamp can take the place
of a person's two hands and, so, is a mild negation of that person's
usefulness.

For those of us with big ideas and little funding, a two-inch clamp
and a roll of duct tape goes a long way! Last night, in fact, when
faced with rigging appropriate lighting for a low-budget video
production, we used both. We stuck a set of track lights atop an
easel crossbar, clamped it in place and wrapped it with duct tape.
Voila: set lights. Unfortunately, we still had to have someone stand
on a ladder and hold the boom mike.   ;-(

sally




On Oct 31, 2006, at 12:54 PM, Laurence Horn wrote:

>> A friend says that in her teen-age years (late 1950s) her father used
>> to say "you could be replaced by a two-inch clamp."  Is this in the
>> Yale Book of Quotations?
>>
>> She and I sense a sexual undertone in this, but are not
>> sure.  Perhaps a device for autoerotic stimulation, an alternative to
>> a vagina?  Seems a little far-fetched.
>>
> not to mention painful, if that's the right reading
>

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