Multiplying slowly

[Wilson Gray]

How about the one in which the bulldog has a Burroughs-style adding
machine  and he inputs something like the following:

Mouse refuses to eat cheese.
[Crank]
Mouse refuses to run from cat
[Crank]
Mouse asks cat to eat him.
[Crank]
Cat refuses to eat mouse.
[Crank]
Cat refuses to run from dog
[Crank]
Cat asks dog to kill him.
[Crank. Crank. Crank. Crank. Crank.]

The bulldog scans the output and, with a puzzled look on his face,
looks out at the audience and comments confusedly:

It don't add up!!!

-Wilson


On 3/13/08, Scot LaFaive <scotlafaive at gmail.com> wrote:
> ---------------------- Information from the mail header -----------------------
>  Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
>
> Poster:       Scot LaFaive <scotlafaive at GMAIL.COM>
>  Subject:      Re: Multiplying slowly
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>  >Reminds me of a scene in the highly surreal Warner Bros. cartoon, "The Big
>  Snooze":
>
> Is that the one when Fudd falls asleep and Bugs torments him? I love that
>  toon. "Look. I'm multiplyin'."
>
>
>  Scot
>
>
>  On Wed, Mar 12, 2008 at 8:08 PM, Benjamin Zimmer <
>  bgzimmer at babel.ling.upenn.edu> wrote:
>
>  > ---------------------- Information from the mail header
>  > -----------------------
>  > Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
>  > Poster:       Benjamin Zimmer <bgzimmer at BABEL.LING.UPENN.EDU>
>  > Subject:      Re: Multiplying slowly
>  >
>  > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>  >
>  > On Wed, Mar 12, 2008 at 5:33 PM, Joel S. Berson <Berson at att.net> wrote:
>  > >
>  > > According to an item on local TV news in Boston, the mayor of
>  > > Randolph, Iowa, has offered a bounty of $5.00 each because (as said
>  > > by the news announcer) "stray cats are multiplying slowly".  Gags
>  > welcomed.
>  >
>  > Reminds me of a scene in the highly surreal Warner Bros. cartoon, "The
>  > Big Snooze":
>  >
>  > Elmer Fudd: Zillions and twillions of wabbits! Where are they all coming
>  > from?
>  > Bugs Bunny: [at an adding machine] From me, Doc. I'm multiplying, see?
>  > I'm multiplying!
>  > <http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0038356/>
>  >
>  >
>  > --Ben Zimmer
>  >
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--
All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"---a strange complaint to
come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
-----
                                              -Sam'l Clemens

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