those consort names again

[Doug_Harris]

Or. . .

with apologies to Tom Clancy's "Debt of Honor," McLame and Whatshername are
elected but, because of her daughter's pending delivery, Whatshername passes
on attending the inauguration -- which is just as well, because that's the
event Al and the rest of the Caidas choose to make a dramatic "statement"
via a suicide hot air balloon which -- on the grounds that 'what harm could
a _hot air balloon_ do? -- is allowed inside the no-fly zone surrounding
the capitol -- self destructs as a female (who else!) terrorist initiates a
nukular holocaust that takes out all but a few elderly, sick and absent
members of Congress. Whatshername and the First Eskimo are, by default,
the new leaseholders on the Big White Igloo. When a month-long prayer
meeting produces no burning bush or print-impregnated stone tablets, W Too,
as the new POTUS has been dubbed by Glen Beck, who took over for Rush after
he, along with many other windbags, was forever silenced in the big blast,
has an epiphany and, in a text-messaged speech to the shocked and awed US
population, says she was wrong before and "no god I want anything to do with
would have the bristols to disrupt my daughter's day like _that_" . . and
orders caribou stew for all while she mulls over what to do next.
dh



Joel S. Berson wrote:

Well. let's see ...

Scenario 1:
      Republicans McCain and Palin are elected, with exit polls
showing that women Democrats, distressed that their party had not
nominated a woman, were the deciding factor in several battleground states.
      However, they return to their traditional base in state
elections and the Democrats retain control of the House and Senate.
      After the agony of having to eliminate so many outstanding
white male vice-presidential possibilities, the 72-year-old McCain
succumbs to the stress of being forced also to choose a cabinet, and
dies soon after inauguration.
      At the first meeting of the new Congress, the Democrats of the
Senate, in an attempt to regain their historic electoral advantage
among women, elect Hilary Clinton President Pro Tempore of the Senate.
      Not long thereafter, a pro abortion-rights zealot assassinates
Palin.  Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi becomes Acting President.
      Encouraged by one powerful woman's exit from the stage, a
member of a male supremacist organization offs Nancy Pelosi.
      Under the Presidential Succession Act of 1947, Hilary Clinton
becomes President.

Scenario 2:
      Democrats Obama and Biden are elected, with exit polls showing
that a massive increase in registration by African Americans helped
them take some traditionally Republican southern states.
      As a result of this and other factors, the Democrats
dramatically increase their majorities in Congress.
      Robert Byrd of West Virginia, President Pro Tempore of the
Senate, resigns before the new Congress convenes; the gossip is
alternately that he was so elated at the election of a Democratic
president that he decided it was finally time to leave the podium,
and that he was severely depressed at the elevation of a black.
       Vice-President elect Biden, celebrating both the day and his
election too exuberantly on his 66th birthday, November 20, 2008,
dies of another brain aneurysm.  The fears -- or was it hopes? -- of
Fox News come to pass (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,409941,00.html).
     The Democrats of the Senate, to demonstrate that there really is
no glass ceiling in their party as well as in that chamber, elect
Hilary Clinton as Byrd's successor; many of the few remaining male
Republican senators, anxious about their potential future defeat
should they oppose a woman, actually vote for Clinton.
      A white supremacist assassinates President Obama before he has
had time to nominate a successor to Biden and the Senate to confirm
his choice.  Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi becomes Acting President.
      His previous rage at Pelosi's (former) power to suppress the
white male Republicans of the House now augmented by additional
resentment of her vast new powers, a Republican white male
supremacist offs Pelosi.
      Under the Presidential Succession Act of 1947, Hilary Clinton
becomes President.

[I may have misinterpreted some of the complex conditions for
presidential succession, and therefore been amiss in my chronology,
but I am sure any defects can be corrected.]

Joel

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