Only English... the Yiddish version

[David Bergdahl]

There may be those among you who support including Spanish as our national
language. I for one am dead set against it!

We should preserve the sanctity of the English language.

To all the shlemiels, shlemazels, nebbishes, nudniks, klutzes, putzes,
shlubs, shmoes, shmucks, nogoodniks, and momzers that are lurking out there
in the crowd, I just wanted to say that I, for one, get sentimental when I
think about English and its place in our society.

To tell the truth, it makes me so farklempt, I'm fit to plotz. This whole
schmeer gets me broyges. When I hear these mavens and luftmenschen kvetching
about our national language. What chutzpah!

These shmegeges can tout their shlock about the cultural and linguistic
diversity of our country and of English itself, but I, for one, am not
buying their shtick. It's all so much dreck, as far as I'm concerned. I
exhort you all to be menshen about this and stand up to their fardrayte
arguments and meshugganah, farshtunkene assertions. It wouldn't be kosher to
do anything else.

Remember, when all is said and done, we have English and they've got bubkes!
The whole myseh is a pain in the tuchas!

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The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org