Fwd: Medical slang

[James Harbeck]

 From BBC News:



Doctor slang is a dying art

The inventive language created by doctors the world over to insult
their patients-or each other-is in danger of becoming extinct.



So says a doctor who has spent four years charting more than
200 colourful examples.



Medicine is a profession already overflowing with acronyms and
technical terms, and doctors over the years have invented plenty of
their own.



However, Dr. Adam Fox, who works at St. Mary's Hospital in London as
a specialist registrar in its child allergy unit, says that far fewer
doctors now annotate notes with acronyms designed to spell out the
unsayable truth about their patients.



Top medical acronyms

CTD: Circling the Drain (a patient expected to die soon)

GLM: Good-Looking Mum

GPO: Good for Parts Only

TEETH: Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy

UBI: Unexplained Beer Injury



The increasing rate of litigation means that there is a far higher
chance that doctors will be asked in court to explain the exact
meaning of NFN (Normal for Norfolk), FLK (Funny-Looking Kid) or
GROLIES (Guardian Reader Of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt).



Dr. Fox recounts the tale of one doctor who had scribbled TTFO-an
expletive expression roughly translated as "Told To Go Away"-on a
patient's notes.

He told BBC News Online: "This guy was asked by the judge what the
acronym meant, and luckily for him he had the presence of mind to
say: 'To take fluids orally'."





Quaint up North



Regional dialects abound, even in the world of the medical acronym.
In the north of England, the TTR (Tea Time Review) of a patient is
commonplace, but not in the south.



And the number of terms for patients believed to be somewhat
intellectually challenged is enormous.
 From LOBNH (Lights On But Nobody Home), CNS-QNS (Central Nervous
System-Quantity Not Sufficient), to the delightful "pumpkin
positive", which refers to the implication that a penlight shone into
the patient's mouth would encounter a brain so small that the whole
head would light up.



Regular visitors to A&E (Accident & Emergency) on a Friday or
Saturday night are also classified.
DBI refers to "Dirt Bag Index", and multiplies the number of tattoos
with the number of missing teeth to give an estimate of the number of
days since the patient last bathed.

A PFO refers to a drunken patient who sustained injury falling over,
while a PGT "Got Thumped" instead.





Medical terms - A glossary

Digging for worms: varicose vein surgery

Departure lounge: geriatric ward

Handbag positive: confused patient (usually elderly lady) lying on
hospital bed clutching handbag

Woolworth's Test: Anaesthetic term (if you can imagine the patient
shopping in Woolies, it's safe to give a general anaesthetic)





This is an international language: Dr. Fox's research reveals that a
PIMBA in Brazil can be translated as a "swollen-footed, drunk,
run-over beggar".



Doctor insult



And much of the slang is directed at colleagues rather than patients.
Thus rheumatology, considered by hard-pressed juniors one of the less
busy specialties, becomes "rheumaholiday", the "Freud Squad" are
psychiatrists, and "Gassers" and "Slashers" are anaesthetists and
general surgeons respectively.



Dr. Fox is keen to point out that neither he nor the other authors of
the paper, published in the journal Ethics and Behaviour, actually
advocate using any of the terms.



He said: "It's a form of communication, and it needs to be recorded.
It may not be around forever."



He said: "I do think that doctors are genuinely more respectful of
their patients these days."



If that is the case, perhaps the delights of a "Whopper with Cheese",
"Handbag Positive" or "Coffin Dodger" could be lost forever.



Published: 2003/08/18 10:18:32 GMT

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