Submariner [was "thousand-yard stare"] (UNCLASSIFIED)

[Jonathan Lighter]

Just for the record, I first heard this joke ca1978-79 as part of the
"Polack" cycle.

JL

On Mon, Aug 2, 2010 at 2:20 PM, Robin Hamilton <
robin.hamilton3 at virginmedia.com> wrote:

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> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       Robin Hamilton <robin.hamilton3 at VIRGINMEDIA.COM>
> Subject:      Re: Submariner [was "thousand-yard stare"] (UNCLASSIFIED)
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> > The best versions of this joke aren't shiftable, though, and I was
> > hoping the Irish version would have been more specific.
>
> That's interesting, and the examples you give.  Seems to turn on the degree
> of specificity.  Links to George's point on another thread about slang
> being
> a useful window on social custom.
>
> I'll see if I can come on anything Irish-specific.  There has to be
> something, especially with the Provos from the time before Gerry Adams and
> Matt McGuinness became respectable.
>
> (I was at that time working for BT on the telephones in London, and found
> out from someone who said he was connected to the Provos -- he retailed
> this
> to me with a degree of relish that was quite disconcerting -- that that
> made
> me a "legitimate target".  All so long ago.)
>
> Robin
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Mullins, Bill AMRDEC" <Bill.Mullins at US.ARMY.MIL>
> Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 6:48 PM
>  To: <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Subject:      Re: Submariner [was "thousand-yard stare"] (UNCLASSIFIED)
>
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> > header -----------------------
> > Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> > Poster:       "Mullins, Bill AMRDEC" <Bill.Mullins at US.ARMY.MIL>
> > Subject:      Re: Submariner [was "thousand-yard stare"] (UNCLASSIFIED)
> >
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
> > Caveats: NONE
> >
> > The best versions of this joke aren't shiftable, though, and I was
> > hoping the Irish version would have been more specific.
> >
> > For example, there are a few such jokes about students of the various
> > SEC schools (I'm a UT Knoxville grad).
> >
> > How many Vanderbilt students etc.
> >
> > Three.  One to mix drinks, one to call Daddy, and one to send for the
> > janitor. (referring to the stereotype of Vandy students being the
> > Southern version of Harvard students).
> >
> > How many Alabama students etc.
> >
> > Five.  One to change the bulb, and four to talk about how good the old
> > bulb was (referring to the Crimson Tide's problems in finding a football
> > coach who was as good as or was a student/disciple of Bear Bryant, from
> > Bryant's death up until the hiring of Nick Saban.  The passage of time
> > and Saban's success may kill this version).
> >
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: American Dialect Society [mailto:ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU] On
> > Behalf Of
> >> Robin Hamilton
> >> Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 11:30 AM
> >> To: ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU
> >> Subject: Re: Submariner [was "thousand-yard stare"] (UNCLASSIFIED)
> >>
> >> ---------------------- Information from the mail header
> > ----------------------
> >> -
> >> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> >> Poster:       Robin Hamilton <robin.hamilton3 at VIRGINMEDIA.COM>
> >> Subject:      Re: Submariner [was "thousand-yard stare"]
> > (UNCLASSIFIED)
> >>
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > ------
> >> -
> >>
> >> From: "Mullins, Bill AMRDEC" <Bill.Mullins at US.ARMY.MIL>
> >>
> >> > So, uh, how many Irishmen/Provos/etc. _does_ it take to change a
> >> > lightbulb?
> >>
> >> Here's one version (change ethnicity at will):
> >>
> >>         Three -- one to stand on the chair and hold the light bulb,
> > and two
> >> others to lift the chair and turn it around.
> >>
> >> Another (again, change ethnicity at will) on the same lines would be:
> >>
> >>         How does an Irishman work out how many horses there are in a
> > field?
> >>
> >>         He counts the number of legs and divides by four.
> >>
> >> While it's possible to shift the ethnic identity of the figures
> > against whom
> >> the joke is addressed -- so you could for instance replace "Irish" in
> > the
> >> version above with "Polish", and I'd guess in America by "redneck" --
> >> Dumb-As-Shit jokes aren't *absolutely trans-racial.  I can't imagine a
> > Scot
> >> or a Jew figuring, because anti-Scottish and anti-Jewish jokes turn on
> >> different stereotypes, the Scots for instance being notoriously mean
> > (in the
> >> sense of tight with their cash).
> >>
> >> Go figure.
> >>
> >> Robin
> >>
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> > Caveats: NONE
> >
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>
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