I don't give a stuff

[Paul Frank]

In the Aussie TV soap Neighbours (episode 6033 and going strong), the
word "stuff" is used instead of "fuck" in all cases when real-world
English speakers would say "fuck" or "fucked": I stuffed up; stuff
you; I don't give a stuff, and so on. Is there an equivalent and
equally versatile euphemism on American television?

(In the unlikely event that you're wondering: Yes, I watch Neighbours.
It's the only TV show I watch, and I watch it every day with my
daughter. Is it trash? Yes. It is fun? Yes. Is it a waste of time?
Hell no. When my mother was dying of cancer in Amsterdam many years
ago, she got hooked on The Bold and the Beautiful. We spent her last
few weeks together, so sometimes I ended up watching this show too. It
used to irritate me to no end that she was wasting precious moments
watching undiluted drivel. When I finally told her that I absolutely
hated every minute of the The Bold and the Beautiful and suggested she
watch something else, anything else, she said, "I'm the one who's
dying here and if watching a silly show once a day gives me some
pleasure in my last few days in this godforsaken planet of ours, why
the hell shouldn't I?" Impeccable logic. I ended up enjoying quite a
few episodes of the Bold and the Beautiful with my mom. And now I
enjoy Neighbours with my daughter [my wife Véronique refuses to watch
this crap]. But I digress...).

So what's the American TV equivalent of "stuff" and "stuffed" with all
its declensions and semantic permutations?

Cheers,
Paul

Paul Frank
Translator
Chinese, German, French, Italian > English
Espace de l'Europe 16
Neuchâtel, Switzerland
paulfrank at bfs.admin.ch
paulfrank at post.harvard.edu

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