(fairly) new (but unlisted) "benefits"

[Ben Zimmer]

On Fri, Aug 5, 2011 at 11:02 AM, Laurence Horn wrote:
>
> On Aug 5, 2011, at 10:43 AM, Jesse Sheidlower wrote:
>
> > On Fri, Aug 05, 2011 at 10:37:55AM -0400, Joel S. Berson wrote:
> >>
> >> Successively telling GBooks Advanced Search to
> >> search before xxxx for "[best] friend[s] with
> >> benefits" (quoted; all 4 combinations) arrives at
> >> just 9 hits before Dec 31, 2003, the earliest of
> >> which (that appears relevant) is alleged to be
> >> Apr 21, 1997, in New York Magazine, Vol. 30, No.
> >> 15, page 106, a personal ad (a believable source, surely):
> >>
> >> "Wanted: Best Friend With Benefits  I'm an
> >> outgoing, fun, family-oriented 33-year-old (hell
> >> of a catch), with a lot to offer.
> >> Nonanorexic-looking Jewish female, living in
> >> central NJ. I have a lot of plans for the spring
> >> and summer ... I realized I was missing the
> >> special guy to share the good times with. You
> >> should be 31-40, just a bit romantic, ...
> >
> > But in context this looks like it means 'committed romantic/sexual
> > partner who is also a close friend', i.e. emphasizing the fact that the
> > advertiser is looking for someone who will be not only a lover but also
> > a close friend. She's not just looking for a friend to sleep with on
> > occasion.
> >
> That seems to be the case in the Morissette song as well, FWIW.  A
> speculation: maybe the FWB locution was recruited as a kind of
> euphemism for the already existing "fuck buddy".

That seems plausible to me, based on the late-'90s citations in the
Usenet archive on Google Groups (http://ddIyP). Exx from '95-'96
mostly allude to the song, or at least share the underlying concept.
Here, for instance, is a Morissettian "friend with benefits" in a
personal ad from 11/28/96:

http://groups.google.com/group/dfw.personals/msg/c3dea870a2afe1de

Starting in '98, we see it used more in the "fuck buddy" sense, e.g.:

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.romance/msg/aac2adcff389825c

--bgz

--
Ben Zimmer
http://benzimmer.com/

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