(fairly) new (but unlisted) "benefits"

[Laurence Horn]

On Aug 5, 2011, at 11:26 AM, Ben Zimmer wrote:

> On Fri, Aug 5, 2011 at 11:02 AM, Laurence Horn wrote:
>>
>> On Aug 5, 2011, at 10:43 AM, Jesse Sheidlower wrote:
>>
>>> On Fri, Aug 05, 2011 at 10:37:55AM -0400, Joel S. Berson wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Successively telling GBooks Advanced Search to
>>>> search before xxxx for "[best] friend[s] with
>>>> benefits" (quoted; all 4 combinations) arrives at
>>>> just 9 hits before Dec 31, 2003, the earliest of
>>>> which (that appears relevant) is alleged to be
>>>> Apr 21, 1997, in New York Magazine, Vol. 30, No.
>>>> 15, page 106, a personal ad (a believable source, surely):
>>>>
>>>> "Wanted: Best Friend With Benefits  I'm an
>>>> outgoing, fun, family-oriented 33-year-old (hell
>>>> of a catch), with a lot to offer.
>>>> Nonanorexic-looking Jewish female, living in
>>>> central NJ. I have a lot of plans for the spring
>>>> and summer ... I realized I was missing the
>>>> special guy to share the good times with. You
>>>> should be 31-40, just a bit romantic, ...
>>>
>>> But in context this looks like it means 'committed romantic/sexual
>>> partner who is also a close friend', i.e. emphasizing the fact that the
>>> advertiser is looking for someone who will be not only a lover but also
>>> a close friend. She's not just looking for a friend to sleep with on
>>> occasion.
>>>
>> That seems to be the case in the Morissette song as well, FWIW.  A
>> speculation: maybe the FWB locution was recruited as a kind of
>> euphemism for the already existing "fuck buddy".
>
> That seems plausible to me, based on the late-'90s citations in the
> Usenet archive on Google Groups (http://ddIyP). Exx from '95-'96
> mostly allude to the song, or at least share the underlying concept.
> Here, for instance, is a Morissettian "friend with benefits" in a
> personal ad from 11/28/96:
>
> http://groups.google.com/group/dfw.personals/msg/c3dea870a2afe1de
>
> Starting in '98, we see it used more in the "fuck buddy" sense, e.g.:
>
> http://groups.google.com/group/alt.romance/msg/aac2adcff389825c
>
> --bgz
>
> —
This will be an interesting entry when it's written.  Assuming Morissette's usage ends up bracketed for the reasons we've discussed, does Mr. Friedman get credit for first cite?  None of the google books cites in the relevant
(fuck-buddy-plus) sense predates this.  I add the "plus" because one of the cites I was browsing distinguished FWB from fuck buddy on the one side—fuck buddies aren't necessarily friends, after all—as well as romantic (or "relationshippy") partner (not to mention soulmate, as in the '96 ad above).  I am kidding, mostly, because Friedman obviously didn't originate the term in this sense, he presupposes familiarity with it, but where do we go from here?

LH

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