Mark Twain's profanity

[Garson O'Toole]

James A. Landau wrote:
> A friend of mine is writing a play about Mark Twain and Mary Baker Eddy and is looking for an idea of just what Twain said in his famous profanity.
>
> I have found several descriptions of Mark Twain's profanity but only one alleged example of his exact words.
>
> Does anyone have a source for the text of Victorian cussing?

Below is an instance reported in  Albert Bigelow Paine's edition of
Twain's notebook (maybe you already have this). Further below are mild
examples purportedly from letters.

Cite: 1935, "Mark Twain's Notebook" by Mark Twain edited by Albert
Bigelow Paine, Page 396, Harper & Brothers, New York. (Google Books
snippet view of 1971 edition; Verified with scans in the 1935 edition;
Please check for typos)

Early in December (1906) I accompanied Mark Twain on a copyright
lobbying expedition to Washington, an account of which is elsewhere
set down and need not be repeated here. Looking through the notes of
that journey, however, I find one or two that may be added, now.

We arrived in the evening and went to the New Willard, a hotel
boasting certain "latest improvements." For one thing, you were sure
of getting boiling water from the "Hot" faucet almost instantly--it
wasn't necessary to feel of it. Early next morning he was in the
bathroom. I heard the water turned into the tub, followed by a wild
blast of profanity: "God-damn the God-damned son-of-a-bitch that
invented that faucet! I hope he'll roast in hell for a million years!"
It appeared that he had sampled the temperature of the flow, as was
his custom at home--ordinarily singing a little at such a moment.

http://books.google.com/books?id=Z35aAAAAMAAJ&q=bitch#search_anchor


Barbara Schmidt's TwainQuotes website has an example:

...quadrilateral, astronomical, incandescent son-of-a-bitch.
- Letter to William Dean Howells, 13 February 1903

http://www.twainquotes.com/Profanity.html


Here are some links into a book titled "Letters: 1867-1868, Volume 2"
by Mark Twain edited by Edgar M. Branch:

"the great Fenian Female Suffrage Ass"
http://books.google.com/books?id=EWvU21-vV8EC&q=ass#v=snippet&

How is Bret? He is publishing with a Son of a Bitch who will swindle
him, & he may print that opinion if he chooses, with my name signed to
it.
http://books.google.com/books?id=EWvU21-vV8EC&q=bitch#v=snippet&


Here is a link to a scholarly edition of "Mark Twain's notebooks &
journals, Volume 3" in Google Books. The work is in preview mode and
might be worth searching with keywords, e.g., searching for "ass"
leads to "singular ass" and "an innocent ass", and "that ass Judge
Turner".

http://books.google.com/books?id=kMbeUm4pJwsC&


Twain recorded an off-color joke about the star Adelina Patti in one
of his notebooks. This is not an example of profanity, but may be of
interest under the wider topic of taboos:

"He said he would rather sleep with <Adelini>Adelina Patti without a
stitch of clothes on than with General Grant in full uniform."

http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/09/16/patti/

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