New proverbs to guide your life (UNCLASSIFIED)

[Mullins, Bill AMRDEC]

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE

These sound like the old "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" from Saturday
Night Live.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: American Dialect Society [mailto:ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU] On
Behalf Of
> Jonathan Lighter
> Sent: Tuesday, March 22, 2011 9:48 PM
> To: ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU
> Subject: New proverbs to guide your life
>
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> -
> Sender:       American Dialect Society <ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> Poster:       Jonathan Lighter <wuxxmupp2000 at GMAIL.COM>
> Subject:      New proverbs to guide your life
>
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> -
>
> In its October issue, Mad magazine ran aprovocative article on
> "Inspirational Wall Plaques That Never Caught On" (pp. 26-27).
Credited with
> the sayings on the plaques was Mad philosopher Jeff Kruse.
> Some are just silly, but at least two should be quoted for as long as
> civilization endures, which, if I've got it right, should be another
> twenty or thirty years, tops:
>
> "Sometimes,
> when God closes a door,
> He closes it so painfully
> on your fingers
> that you stay away
> from that door for good."
>
> "Whatever
> doesn't kill me
> only
> makes me suffer
> and wish
> I were dead."
>
> JL
>
>
>
> --
> "If the truth is half as bad as I think it is, you can't handle the
truth."
>
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> The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
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The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org