“If I had a nickel for every time I heard it, I’d probably be a millionaire.”

Tue Sep 27 06:09:32 UTC 2011

A listing of a bunch of finds, in no particular order. Antedates for
"dollar", "nickel", "shilling" (possible), "penny", with absolute
antedating going back to either 1832 or 1837--depending on how you read
the 1832 quote. Plus, one from Kipling, one from Mark Twain, and a nice
poem about fools, riffing off the same theme. [Plus a comment about The
Lady or the Tiger for Jesse S.]

==
Not before 1898, but may be of interest for a different reason:

http://goo.gl/H8Q7A
Forest and Stream. 1913

Julius Again. By Robert Page Lincoln. September 20, 1913. p. 361/2
> If I had a penny for every fish I have taken out of Lake Harriet, I
> would start to-morrow the Lincoln Real Estate and Investment Company.
Doings a Blueberry Camp. By Robert Page Lincoln. November 1, 1913. p. 570/3
> Nail 'em down an' see if I care," I said, getting pretty riled over
> it. "If I had a nickle for every bass I have caught in my day, I would
> be fishing with a line made of gold, with diamond-studded hooks. And,"
> I added, thinking to cool him, "if I had a nickle for every one I have
> lost, I would be fishing with a rope of pearls."
> "Yes," supplemented Hungerford, desperately raking his mind for one
> better, "and if I had a nickle for every fish I have lost I would be
> baiting my hook with radium."

Both by the same author, within a single year (two months, really), and
both within fish stories.

http://goo.gl/3mhPb
The Practical Druggist. August 1920
Taking Your Own Boy into the Store. p. 32/1
> Gee whiz, if I had a cent--just one ordinary cent--for every time a
> clerk has come to me and let loose some grouch about the boss's son, I
> could about buy a new pair of shoes.

This one does antedate, but for "penny":

http://goo.gl/YxpKP
The Critic. New York: August 28, 1886
The Lounger. p. 103/1
> I Am permitted to make the following extract from a letter from a
> lady-missionary in India to a relative in the United States :--' I
> have a letter from a friend who has been visiting in an out station
> where there are a lot of Karens (one of the wild tribes of Burmah) who
> have learned some English, and who continually come to her, she says,
> to ask if she has not learned which came out of the door--the Lady or
> the Tiger ?' Mr. Browning thinks it was the Tiger; so do I; and I
> should be passing rich if I had a penny for every one who holds the
> same opinion; but, so evenly is the vote divided, I should probably be
> just as rich if I had a penny for every one who thinks just the
> opposite. Why not have the question decided by an appeal to Mr.
> Stockton's native readers in the Far East? I, for one, would be quite
> willing to abide by the decision of the converted and English-speaking
> Karens. Would not you?

BTW, OED has Stockton's story among quotations only, but lists it as
1884, with the title Lady or Tiger, and once as 1886. Wiki gives 1882.
No entry for metaphorical use of "the lady or the tiger" AFAIK. (Not
applicable in above quotation) The respective entries are epithalamic
adj., hump v., lift v., nock n.1, scoot n.2, working n. Given that Wiki
gives a full bibliographic reference, I'm inclined to go with the
earlier date (especially since I verified it):

> Stockton, F. R. (November 1882). "The Lady, or the Tiger?". The
> Century 25 (1): 83–86.

The story did come out in a book along with a small collection of
Stockton's stories in 1884 (201pp). There appears to be no other major
edition until 1895, so the 1886 date is certainly out. But the OED
appears to quote from the entire volume, not from individual stories--as
page references range from 12 to 108--which seems a bit odd (but may be
a perfectly acceptable OED practice). It seems the reference in each
case should be the individual story, not the entire books. And if the
dictionary is trying to go for the integrity of the dates, then
certainly the earlier magazine publications are /more/ important. For
hump, it's the earliest listed citation; for epithalamic, lift and
scoot, it is the latest listed.

The next one is much more fun:

http://goo.gl/TFg3z
Puck. Volume 64(1667). New York: February 10, 1909
The Booby Prize. By Chester Firkins. [no page #]
> There's the fool who boasts of the girls he's won,
> And  a fool with a "system" for race-horse play.
> There's the fool who tells you that work is fun,
> And the "connoisseur" fool, who feeds you hay ;
> There's the fool with the pseudo--artistic bent,
> But the sorriest soul of the silly lot
> Is the fool who wishes he had a cent
> For every million that Morgan's got.
>
> There's the fool who says, "You know what I mean;"
> There's the newly wed bride and her "angel-dove;"
> There's the Broadway ape in his hat of green;
> There are "matinee idols" and men in love;
> There's the "didn't-know-it-was-loaded" lad;
> But the fool who has got 'em all beaten dumb
> Is the fellow who sighs, "If I only had
> A dime for each dollar I've spent on rum!"
>
> There's the fool of the Spring, who writes in rhyme;
> There's the April fool with his aged wit;
> There's the fool of the bad old Summertime,
> Who says: "It's a warm day, isn't it?"
> There's the Autumn fool, who can kill a dear
> Friend at a hundred yards or three;
> But the prize fool says, "If I had a beer
> For each bad debt that my friends owe me!"
>
> There's the "Get-a-horse" fool who is always
> nigh;
> Though your car goes smash on the loneliest
> road;
> There's "one more" fool, who is always dry
> Why you know that /your/ cargo is fully stowed;
> There are New York Senators (one or two);
> There are rich boy-socialists, flaying sin.
> Why, I'd be rich, if I had a son
> For every fool that I've met--or been.

Earliest so far:

http://goo.gl/kMqxI
Ballou's Monthly Magazine. Volume 44(2). Boston: 1876
"That Taylor Boy." Chapter XV. By M. Quad, of the Detroit Free Press. p.
175/2
> "You see," he began, laying aside his pipe, "I had a good mother. All
> mothers are good, I guess, but mine--Heaven keep her!--was something
> extra. Bless you, men, but if I only had a penny for every tear she
> shed over me, from the cradle to a year ago, I'd not be hauling ropes
> on the President!

Very different phrasing, no millionaire or another "rich" goal--totally
different meaning:

http://goo.gl/qrps9
The American Stationer. October 31, 1908
Roundabouts. By the Trade Lounger. p. 20/3
> About the first thing that the average man will do in testing a new
> pen is to write his name. That is as common as the habit of writing
> "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party"
> on the typewriter. The man who sells fountain pens knows the custom
> well. One dealer said the other day that he could not account for it
> on the basis of egotism, but explained it simply because a name was
> one thing most folks expected to have to write a great many times with
> a pen and therefore wanted to try it out on that. If only I had a
> blotter for each of the many signatures I have seen written rind if I
> had criminal instincts I could make good money as a forger with some
> of the names that have been written in my place," he said.

Another different phrasing, with a special copyright notice on the title
page of the story.

http://goo.gl/LWVgO
The Pall Mall Magazine. Volume 2(11). March 1894
Her Majesty's Servants. By Rudyard Kipling. p. 801
> Now, if I had a full meal for every dog I've kicked across the
> parade-ground I should be as fat as Two Tails nearly."

And this is a great early one, but not quite "millionaire".

http://goo.gl/ud1tl
Farmers' Register. Volume 4(12). Petersburg, VA: April 1, 1837
Importation of grain. p. 730/1
> To my shame and sorrow, I confess, that I do not belong to that happy,
> all perfect class: nay more, that if I had a dollar for every time I
> have erred against knowledge, by transgressing my own precepts, I
> would probably want no more money during life. For such transgressions
> by any man, there is no excuse, although there is an obvious cause.

But even this one is not the earliest, although this one is not quite
wistful (the cost of each copy is "sixpence"):

http://goo.gl/FfpFY
The Isis: A London Weekly Publication. Volume 24(1). July 28, 1832
The Editress to Her Readers. [Eliza Sharples Carlille.] p. 372
> I find it a heavy and expensive undertaking, to support this
> publication ; and if i had a shilling a piece for every copy sold, it
> would but be a small remuneration for the labour bestowed upon it.

Also antedating the "dollar"--with a nice pseudonym--but it's nowhere
near the 1837 mark above:

http://goo.gl/jS5HX
The Engineering Magazine. Volume 2(4). January 1892
Machine-Shop Notes. By Col. Loquial. p. 555/2
> But if I had a dollar for every pulley running in this country--or
> even the city of New York--on standing balance only, I should be rich
> enough to make some very decent Christmas presents.

Antidating "nickel":

The Inland Printer. Volume 3(5). Chicago: February 1886
The Typothetae of New York. p. 272/2
> If I had a nickel for every dog bite I have got on me I could keep Mr.
> Pasteur in business for a year.

Another imaginative use of "dollar".

http://goo.gl/kqILi
Clovernook or Recollections of Our Neighborhood in the West. 2d series.
By Alice Cary. New York: 1853
Mrs. Wetherbe's Quilting Party. p. 49
> "If I had a dollar for every mouthful you have eaten," said one, " I
> wouldn't thank nobody for being kin to me."

Finally, from Mark Twain.

Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World. By Mark Twain.
Hartford: 1898 [Copyright 1897 by Olivia L. Clemens]
Chapter 57. p. 547
> If I had a dollar for every person killed per year in India, I would
> rather have it than any other property, as it is the only property in
> the world not subject to shrinkage.

I went through only about 300 of estimated 1500 hits from 1800 to 1939
(although there were none between 1920 and 1939 that I noticed). At this
point, I'm going to give up sifting through the rest. I might come back
to it later--I only get about 1 relevant hit per 35-40 GB hits,
following the search pattern I chose. But many would not have been found
otherwise.

     VS-)

On 9/26/2011 12:06 PM, Dan Goncharoff wrote:
> That made me rethink the search:
>
> Broadway Magazine
> Vol. 1, No. 6
> September,1898
> "IF a certain theatrical manager were to get a nickel for every chorus
> girl he has cheated, he'd be a millionaire — or near it."
>
> DanG

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