English and Chinese to Become Official World Languages

[Tom Zurinskas]

Is this an April  joke?
 
English and Chinese to Become Official World Languages. 
After much deliberation, the General Assembly of the United Nations has passed a resolution calling all governments to adopt English and Chinese as official languages. All countries will be expected to teach young children in either English or Chinese by 2018.

Some countries argued that only Chinese should be the official language because it was the language of the future, but opponents claimed that the difficulty in learning Chinese characters would present too much of an obstacle, and that English was needed as an easier alternative.

There was also much debate about whether British English or American English should be the world standard. The main concern was to try and decide which of the two is easier to learn. Those in favor of American English argued that American spelling is simpler and more rational, so would be easier for young children.

However, after a great deal of research and a heated discussion that went as far as the Security Council, it was decided to adopt the variant of British English used in rural areas of South West England, particularly in Dorset. This means that instead of learning 'I am . . ., You are . . ., He is . . .' everybody will learn the simpler 'I be . . ., You be . . ., He be . . .' It was felt that this would provide a much easier alternative for those who find learning Chinese characters too difficult.

All United Nations documents and international treaties will use this variant of English from 2015 and Thomas Hardy novels will become recommended reading for UN officials and international lawyers.



Tom Zurinskas, Conn 20 yrs, Tenn 3, NJ 33, now Fl 9.
See how English spelling links to sounds at http://justpaste.it/ayk


 
 



                                          
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