English and Chinese to Become Official World Languages

[Joel S. Berson]

You might tell us where this appeared.  The Onion?

Joel

At 4/2/2012 03:23 PM, Tom Zurinskas wrote:
>Is this an April  joke?
>
>English and Chinese to Become Official World Languages.
>After much deliberation, the General Assembly of the United Nations
>has passed a resolution calling all governments to adopt English and
>Chinese as official languages. All countries will be expected to
>teach young children in either English or Chinese by 2018.
>
>Some countries argued that only Chinese should be the official
>language because it was the language of the future, but opponents
>claimed that the difficulty in learning Chinese characters would
>present too much of an obstacle, and that English was needed as an
>easier alternative.
>
>There was also much debate about whether British English or American
>English should be the world standard. The main concern was to try
>and decide which of the two is easier to learn. Those in favor of
>American English argued that American spelling is simpler and more
>rational, so would be easier for young children.
>
>However, after a great deal of research and a heated discussion that
>went as far as the Security Council, it was decided to adopt the
>variant of British English used in rural areas of South West
>England, particularly in Dorset. This means that instead of learning
>'I am . . ., You are . . ., He is . . .' everybody will learn the
>simpler 'I be . . ., You be . . ., He be . . .' It was felt that
>this would provide a much easier alternative for those who find
>learning Chinese characters too difficult.
>
>All United Nations documents and international treaties will use
>this variant of English from 2015 and Thomas Hardy novels will
>become recommended reading for UN officials and international lawyers.
>
>
>
>Tom Zurinskas, Conn 20 yrs, Tenn 3, NJ 33, now Fl 9.
>See how English spelling links to sounds at http://justpaste.it/ayk
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>------------------------------------------------------------
>The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org

------------------------------------------------------------
The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org