Dec- (imate, ember) [Was: elephants had been _decimated_.]

[Joel S. Berson]

At 5/22/2012 02:18 PM, W Brewer wrote:
>Decimating the calendar. Learning Latin made me aware that the month names
>were akilter. Two millennia of this illogical nonsense is really too much.
>I hereby make the emotion to officially change December to Duodecember.
>Likewise, November becomes Undecember. What happens to the other two
>inflated months is anybody`s guess. November Novus (old September),
>December Verus (old October)? On the other hand, it might be easier just to
>drop the two Caesars and go back to a lunar calendar. The Roman X does seem
>to have inflationary tendencies: decimate, December, dime ($10 worth of
>drugs).

It's actually only about four centennia of illogicality -- and even
less if you're English, as I assume a surname of "Brewer" surely
signifies.  Retreat defensively to the 18th century, when the
(English) year began on Lady Day and the first month was March.  Then
quite logically September is the seventh, October the eighth,
November the ninth, and December the tenth.  (The Romans ran out of
gods after Augustus.)  Thus the Romans, and any successors who began
the year when it logically should, in the spring, were quite logical.

(The true story is actually somewhat more complex.  The original
Roman calendar had 10 months, with winter a monthless
period.  January and February were added later.  [I too could do
without them.]  The old Roman calendar's year [like the old English
calendar's] began in March.  The later calendar made January the
first month -- but the Romans were too lazy to rename the numerical
months.  Thus the Romans were illogical two millenia ago, as was
anyone else who followed them into the heresy of starting the new
year in January.)

Even better, become a conservative Puritan, and disavow pagan
month-names.  Instead of "September", write "7th mo.", and so
forth.  (Yes, the 7th month did change from September to July in
1752, when the British Empire adopted the Gregorian calendar, but by
that time there were no surviving conservative Puritans refusing to
use pagan month names.)

Joel

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