Another immaculate conception

[W Brewer]

Immaculate conception & virgin birth theology, as handed down to me by nuns
and somehow rationalized in my brain over the years. Immaculate conception
means that Mary was unstained by the Original Sin of Adam & Eve (who spoke
pIE) (which shut the gates of Paradise, only to be opened by the Sacrifice
of the Lamb of God, i.e. Jesus). This was done by encyclical. Virgin birth
means that, although giving birth to IHS (Iesus Hominum Salvator), Mary
maintained her virginity. The nuns et al. said there were two possible ways
that we could believe regarding the birth of Jesus:
(1) An old-fashioned conception & birth. With the Angel Gabriel playing
Cupid, the Holy Ghost impregnated Mary, through the left ear, so that the
hymen could be left intact. Otherwise, it was an ordinary cow-shed
delivery, very messy & unhygienic.
(2) The miraculous appearance of Baby Jesus swaddled in his manger, with
Mary as spectator. A more appropriate version for children to re-enact at
Christmas pageants. Our family tradition has a creche under the Christmas
tree, with Baby Jesus magically appearing on Christmas morning, the Magi
showing up twelve days later.
     Of course, virgin birth could just as well refer to Mary's birth, at
which time she was beyond doubt a virgin; and immaculate conception could
even refer to Jesus's birth, since He was, after all, the Son of God (in
the Person of the Holy Ghost).
     There. Not so hard.

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