[Ads-l] =?UTF-8?Q?=E2=80=9CWhat_am_I_wanting_to_illustrate=3F=E2=80=9D_?=(Barry Neil Kaufman in "To Love Is to Be Happy With")

Federico Escobar federicoescobarcordoba at GMAIL.COM
Sat Aug 24 15:08:30 UTC 2019

Barry Neil Kaufman is the author of several books and of Son-Rise and
Option Process fame. One of his first books is "To Love Is to Be Happy
With" (Fawcett, 1977). The book's "About the author" page says he was "born
and raised in New York City."

This book deploys a construction that gives me pause each time. It's a
combination of a be verb and a verb with an -ing ending that I would have
phrased differently. I have read other, later books by the author and I
didn't notice this. It's likely copy editors expunged it (or the author
dropped it).

Here are a few examples from the first hundred pages of the book:
— “Some of us might also be believing that if we didn’t get upset, we would
somehow be callous and ‘inhuman’” (p. 35).
— “others are also doing the best they can, the best they know how, based
on their current beliefs… they’re wanting to be happier, wanting to be more
loving” (p. 38).
— “you’re saying he’s not knowing what is best” (p. 54).
— “What are you wanting?” (p. 54).
— “What am I wanting to illustrate?” (p. 59).
— “A parent often makes judgments about what’s best for the child because
the parent is believing that the child would not choose what’s best for
himself” (p. 67).
— “isn’t that what I was wanting for him in the first place?” (p. 71).
— “And when I am wanting to do that, the process is beautiful… not painful”
(p. 100).

The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org

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