[Ads-l] Quip Family Origin: Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I am not feeling very well myself

[ADSGarson O'Toole]

On June 9, 1899, Mark Twain visited the Savage Club in London on
condition that no speech was expected from him, but with sufficient
prodding Twain capitulated, and he did deliver a short address which
was printed in the 1910 collection "Mark Twain's Speeches":

[Begin excerpt]
I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors,
because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer
is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I am not feeling very
well myself.
[End excerpt]

This family of quips originated before Twain's 1899 speech. Further
below is an overview showing selected examples together with dates and
attributions.

If you can find an instance before February 18, 1874, that would be helpful.

Also, an article dated February 27, 1892, in "The Norfolk Chronicle"
of England credited Twain. An earlier instance crediting Twain would
be interesting.

Here is a link to the full QI article:
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2025/09/14/feeling-well/

1874 Feb 18: Our greatest men are fast departing—first Calhoun, then
Clay, and now Webster—and I don’t feel very well myself. (Attributed
to an unnamed rural politician)

1874 May 14: Our great men are fast departing—first Greeley, then
Chase, and now Sumner—and I don’t feel very well myself. (Attributed
to an unnamed member of a Boston school committee)

1874 Jun 17: Our great men are fast departing. First Stanton, then
Chase, then Seward, and now Sumner—and I don’t feel very well myself.
(Attributed to an unnamed member of a New York literary club)

1883 Mar 10: It is very sad, indeed, to think on the number of the
world’s greatest men who have lately been called to their last
account. And the fact is I don’t feel very well myself. (Attributed to
an unnamed Scotchman)

1884 May 10: The great men are all dead. Washington is dead; Jefferson
is dead, and so are Jackson and Clay and Webster, all gone, and—ahem!
I don’t feel well myself. (Attributed to an unnamed member of a town
council)

1886 Aug 14: POOR McSTAGGER DEID! Er’s VERA SAD TO THENK O’ THE GREAT
NUMBER O’ DESTENGWESHED MEN THAT’S LATELY BEEN TA’EN! ’DEED—I NO FEEL
VERA WEEL—MYSEL! (Ascribed to the character Kirk Elder)

1892 Feb 27: Homer is dead; Virgil is dead; Shakespeare is dead; and I
am not very well. (Attributed by Clare Read to Mark Twain)

1893 May 6: NEARLY ALL OUR BEST MEN ARE DEAD! CARLYLE, TENNYSON,
BROWNING, GEORGE ELIOT! — I’M NOT FEELING VERY WELL MYSELF! (Ascribed
to the character Little Simpkins)

1894: Homer is dead, Shakespeare and Milton are no more, and I—I don’t
feel very well myself. (Attributed by Alfred H. Miles to Mark Twain)

1898: Hawthorne’s dead, Longfellow is dead, Lowell is in wretched
health, and I don’t feel very well myself. (Attributed by Chauncey
Depew to James T. Fields)

1899 Jun 9: Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is
Shakespeare, and I am not feeling very well myself. (Attributed to
Mark Twain)

1900 Jul 1: All the great men are dead, and I don’t feel very well
myself. (Attributed to Mark Twain)

1907 Jan 30: I regret particularly that great orators are no longer
available. Demosthenes is dead, Cicero is dead, and I am not feeling
very well myself. (William P. Clyde)

1922 Jan 24: The Pope is dead; and Viscount Bryce is dead, and I’m not
feeling very darn good myself. (Attributed to Dan Worden)

1923 Mar 17: Ah me, those grand old times are sped, and all the saints
but me are dead, and I am far from well. (Walt Mason)

1935: Julius Caesar is dead, Shakespeare is dead, Napoleon is dead,
Abraham Lincoln is dead, and I am far from well myself. (Attributed by
Cyril Clemens to Mark Twain in the period of 1866)

1963 Apr 17: Shakespeare is dead and gone. Milton has been gathered
unto his fathers. Tennyson is no longer with us, and, ladies and
gentlemen, I am not feeling very well myself. (Attributed to Mark
Twain)

In 1935 Cyril Clemens, Twain's distant cousin, published "Mark Twain:
Wit and Wisdom". The book claimed that Twain used an instance during a
speech circa 1866. I have not found any contemporary published
evidence supporting this interesting claim.

Garson O'Toole

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