[Ads-l] Joke Origin: "Do You Serve Lobsters Here?" "Yes, We Serve Anyone"

[ADSGarson O'Toole]

Thanks, Peter. I updated the QI article to mention soldier and
policeman as additional senses for lobster as described in Green's
Dictionary of Slang.

I also added a citation for the lobster / policeman joke in "The
Chicago Sunday Tribune" on February 10, 1901.

[Begin update acknowledgement]
Also, thanks to Peter Morris who told QI about the reverse wordplay
with "lobster" and "policeman".
[End update acknowledgement]

Changes should be visible within 24 hours.
Garson

On Wed, Apr 22, 2026 at 6:49 PM Pete Morris <mr_peter_morris at outlook.com> wrote:
>
> Okay, fair enough.
>
> Here's a variation where the waitress tells the customer "we don't serve
> lobsters"
>
> From an index to magazines up to September 1901. Not sure when the index
> itself was
> published.
>
> https://www.google.co.uk/books/edition/Success_with_Flowers_a_Floral_Magazine/sVBEAAAAYAAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22serve+lobsters+here%22&pg=PP9&printsec=frontcover
>
>
> And I also found this article from 1911 about "lobster" as an slang
> term.  It can mean soldier,
> or policeman, or a red-faced man, in addition to the meanings already
> listed.
>
> https://cdnc.ucr.edu/?a=d&d=SFC19110802.2.57&dliv=none&e=-------en--20--1--txt-txIN--------
>
>
>
> ------ Original Message ------
> From "ADSGarson O'Toole"
> <00001aa1be50b751-dmarc-request at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU>
> To ADS-L at LISTSERV.UGA.EDU
> Date 21/04/2026 06:10:34
> Subject Joke Origin: "Do You Serve Lobsters Here?" "Yes, We Serve
> Anyone"
>
> >The joke in the subject line is a member of a family of gags which
> >includes the following two examples:
> >
> >"Waiter, do you serve shrimps here?" "Sure. We don’t care how tall you
> >are. Sit down."
> >
> >"Do you serve crabs?" "Yes, we treat all customers alike."
> >
> >Nigel Rees discussed this family in the April 2026 issue of his "Quote
> >… Unquote" newsletter which inspired me to explore the topic.
> >
> >The earliest match in this family I found appeared in "The Scioto
> >Gazette" of Chillicothe, Ohio in March 1901:
> >
> >[Begin excerpt]
> >"Do you serve lobsters here?" asked the new arrival.
> >"Well," replied the waiter, "we 'as our instructions to discriminate
> >as much as possible among them as comes in to eat."
> >[End excerpt]
> >
> >In each of these jokes, the seafood term is not interpreted as a menu
> >item; instead, the term is applied to the customer. Each joke can be
> >understood as an absurdist misunderstanding. Further, circa 1901 there
> >were several slang interpretations for "lobster". Here are three
> >senses listed in "Green's Dictionary of Slang":
> >
> >[Begin excerpt]
> >2. (a) (US) a slow-witted, awkward, or gullible person; a general term
> >of abuse; esp. of a socially inept or foolish person.
> >
> >2. (b) an older man who gives a younger woman presents and/or money in
> >return for sexual favours.
> >
> >3 (US) in the context of obtaining money, one who is a waste of effort.
> >[End excerpt]
> >
> >Here is a link to the Quote Investigator article:
> >https://quoteinvestigator.com/2026/04/21/serve-lobsters/
> >
> >Feedback welcome
> >Garson O'Toole
> >
> >------------------------------------------------------------
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>
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