[Ads-l] Quote Origin: Do Not Confine Your Children to Your Own Learning, for They Were Born in Another Time

[Jeff Prucher]

 I tried having Google translate the quote into Arabic, and then search for that string. Gemini tells me (in Arabic, via Google translate once again) that it is "often attributed to Ali ibn Abi Talib". A quick search from English translations of some of his works shows that he did, in fact, make lots of pithy aphoristic quotes, but nothing I found resembles the text. (Which doesn't necessarily mean much -- I wouldn't count searching for "children" in random pdfs purporting to be translations of some of his works to be exhaustive.) 
So I asked Gemini (in English this time) if it could provide sources for that attribution. And it did a decent job, I think.
Here's one set of possible attributions (Google translate from Arabic, https://alrasd.net/arabic/4611):
it is advisable to point out that there is disagreement among authors regarding the attribution of this statement. Some of them, such as Ibn Abi al-Hadid al-Mu'tazili, attribute it to the Commander of the Faithful (peace be upon him) under the title: “Sayings attributed to the Commander of the Faithful, Ali ibn Abi Talib,” with the wording: “Do not force your children to follow your manners, for they were created for a time other than yours.” [Sharh Nahj al-Balaghah, Vol. 20, p. 255].
Others attribute it to the wise Socrates, saying: Do not force your children to follow your ways, for they were created for a time other than yours. [See: Al-Shahrastani in his book: “Al-Milal wa al-Nihal, Vol. 2, p. 144” in the chapter on the opinion of the wise].
A third one is attributed to the philosopher Plato, with the words: Do not force your children to follow your manners, for they were created for a time other than yours. [See: The book: "Lubab al-Adab, Vol. 1, p. 23" by Usama ibn Munqidh (d. 584 AH).]
<end quote>
Gemini also gives "the prominent theologian Ibn al-Qayyim (d. 1350 CE) in Ighathat al-Lahfan" as another attribution to Plato.
This Reddit thread has additional sources for Greek  attributions: https://www.reddit.com/r/shia/comments/1dnixfc/is_this_quote_of_imam_ali_a_do_not_force_your/
TL;DR: no-one knows who first said it, but it's been part of Islamic thought since at least the 1100s.
The earliest date I can find for one of these is ca. 1127-8 for "Al-Milal wa al-Nihal" (per Wikipedia). Wiki doesn't have a date for "Lubab al-Adab" but the author, Usama ibn Munq, lived from 1095-1188, which would make it technically possible to be older.
    On Wednesday, May 13, 2026 at 12:27:00 PM EDT, Stephen Goranson <00001dd3d6fc15d3-dmarc-request at listserv.uga.edu> wrote:  
 
 Differing views from "AI." On responder that it's usually taken as
Chinese--not that I've seen. Another offered Rabbi Nachman of Breslov.
Elsewhere, non AI, claims Yiddish. Since Rabbi Huebsch listed it as from
Arabic, that seems provisionally the best bet.

On Wed, May 13, 2026 at 12:32 AM ADSGarson O'Toole <
00001aa1be50b751-dmarc-request at listserv.uga.edu> wrote:

> The saying in the subject line has been attributed to the Bengali sage
> Rabindranath Tagore. The statement has also been called a Rabbinical
> saying and an Arabic Proverb. I received a request to investigate.
>
> The earliest match I found appeared in an 1887 book titled "Gems of
> the Orient" which contained sayings compiled and translated by
> Reverend A. Huebsch. The saying occurred in a part of the volume
> titled "Arabic Proverbs and Sentences". The precise source of the
> saying was not specified. Here are four statements from the subsection
> about "Children":
>
> [Begin excerpt]
> Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born
> in another time.
>
> By much falling the child learns to walk.
>
> From the rose proceeds a thorn, from the thorn a rose. (Said of the
> diversity between parents and children.)
>
> Be submissive in thy childhood that thou mayest be respected in thy old
> age.
> [End excerpt]
>
> In 1894 "Good Housekeeping" magazine printed a collection of
> miscellaneous sayings under the title "The Family Scrap Basket"
> including the following three items:
>
> [Begin excerpt]
> What class of tradesmen succeed best by going to the wall? Paper hangers.
>
> He is a gallant man, indeed, who always stands up for women—in a street
> car.
>
> Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born
> in another time.
> [End excerpt]
>
> In 1900 the saying appeared in "Wit and Wisdom of the Talmud" edited
> by Madison C. Peters. Here are four statements from a section titled
> "Duties Between Parents and Children":
>
> [Begin excerpt]
> Do not confine your children to your own learning, for they were born
> in another time.
>
> Where the children honor their parents, there God dwells, there He is
> honored.
>
> Parental love should be impartial; one child must not be preferred to the
> other.
> [End excerpt]
>
> The three citations above demonstrate the uncertain origin of the
> saying. The creator remains anonymous. The saying seems to be either
> Arabic or Rabbinic. I hope that future research will help to clarify
> the origin.
>
> The earliest attribution to Rabindranath Tagore I found appeared in
> 2008 which is an extremely late date.
>
> Here is a link to the Quote Investigator article:
> https://quoteinvestigator.com/2026/05/13/children-time/
>
> Feedback welcome
> Garson O'Toole
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> The American Dialect Society - http://www.americandialect.org
>

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