Neo-gothic poem needs help

[Arthur Jones]

Dear llama_nom (is that anything like a pan-Romance "pick a name?")
 
Good to have your help again. Somehow, I didn't feel that a 'tromen' was far enough East for Gothic. Also, the accusative 'mik draumeith' was logical and reminded me of the archaic NHG "mich duenkt" --methinks in English.
 
Cleasy & Vigfusson raise another topic: How does it conveniently happen that precisely those sections of Wulfila got lost? Coincidence? Methinks not. It's a conspiracy, that's what it is.
 
As to the use of "ibnassus" for plain, good shot! Treble twenty. Later in the poem, I contrast it with "hauhassus" for mountainous area. Also, we find that the vocabulary fairly lends itself to alliteration and Germanic meter (before we mix in the bodhran and pipes). The end rhyme is confined to modern English, although Cantilena had end rhyme, short as it was, and some feel that Gothic war chants probably did as well.
 
Second verse under construction:
 
I dreamt of Greuthung warrior-men
     Like mice in great cat-claws
First caught, then freed, then caught again
     Then slain against our walls.
 
Indeed, Fraujo Ranilo is one depressed aristocrat, unable to let go the dead: perhaps suffering from Amal retention.
 
Airungaireiks
arthurobin2002 at yahoo.com

llama_nom <600cell at oe.eclipse.co.uk> wrote:

Hey there Arthur,

Another good bit of poetry there.  In the words of Cleasy & 
Vigfusson's Icelandic Dictionary: "Matth. i. and ii, and by a 
singular mishap Matth. xxvii. 19, are lost in Ulf., so that we are 
unable to say how he rendered the Gr. ONAR".  Your reconstructions 
look good to me though.  In Icelandic, which usually agrees with 
Gothic in such matters, the verb is impersonal in form, with an 
accusative subject and object.  So we might imagine a Gothic MIK 
*DRAUMEIÞ "I dream", literally "it dreams me".  The noun is 
masculine in German, Icelandic and Old English.  (Fredrik, all the 
indications are that the noun is an a-stem in Germanic, thus OE 
dream, ON draumr < Gmc. *draumaz.  If it had been **draumjaz, we'd 
expect the noun to be OE **drieme, ON **dreymir.)

RANILONS DRAUMS FRAUJONS.

> "I dreamt of raging borderlords
>     Whose wrath consumed the plains
> For ancient wrongs, hard-riding hordes
>      Did burn, and burn again."

A literal version:  Mik modagans draumida markafraujans, þizeei 
þwairhei waggam fraqam.  In fairnjaize skaþize harjos 
hardureidandans gabrannidedun jah aftra gabrannidedun.

An alliterative version, which isn't as good as your English 
original...  The letters in brackets refer to "Siever's five types", 
the standard metrical patterns of old Germanic poetry.

Mik markafraujans (D)  .  modagans draumida (A)
þizeei þwairhei (A)  .  gaþars waggans (C);
harjos ushofun  (A)  .  hardureidandans (D)
und frawaurhtim (C)  .  fairnjaim haurja (A),
fon jah aftra fon.

(...withered plains/fields/meadows.  Hordes/hosts hard-riding 
raised, in payment for ancient wrongs, bonfires, fire and fire 
again.)

LLama Nom




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