General Motors Purchases Indian Languages (fwd)

[Phil Cash Cash]

Dear ILAT,

The previous message was/is a parody, a fiction (according to the
webpage that posted it as news).  So do not be alarmed.

heenek'e (again),

Phil Cash Cash
UofA, ILAT


> ----- Message from cashcash at EMAIL.ARIZONA.EDU ---------
>     Date: Thu, 7 Aug 2003 23:38:39 -0700
>     From: Phil Cash Cash <cashcash at EMAIL.ARIZONA.EDU>
> Reply-To: Indigenous Languages and Technology
<ILAT at LISTSERV.ARIZONA.EDU>
>  Subject: General Motors Purchases Indian Languages (fwd)
>       To: ILAT at LISTSERV.ARIZONA.EDU
>
> General Motors Purchases Indian Languages
> http://www.watleyreview.com/2003/072903-2.html
>
>  General Motors (GM) has announced the purchase of exclusive rights
> to
> the entire Algonquian language family, including such well-known
> tongues as Cheyenne, Cree, and Mohican, in a $1.6 billion dollar
> deal.
>
>  "We are confident that this acquisition will benefit both the
> peoples
> who speak these languages and GM," said company spokesman Karl
> Hennessey.  "This is truly a rare win-win situation."
>
>  GM acquired the languages in an apparent effort to secure the rights
> to
> potentially thousands of cool-sounding names for automobiles. With
> one
> of the least creative management structures in the automotive
> industry,
> GM has for years produced cars with increasingly lame names that have
> hurt sales.
>
>  "The problem is almost everything is getting used up," GM Vice
> Chairman
> Bob Lutz told Reuters recently. "If you have a good name, it can
> help.
> I've seen a lot of stupid names in my life."  These would presumably
> include the 2003 Buick GoThing, the 2002 GM Pustule, and the 2003
> Oldsmobile Scab.
>
>  By purchasing exclusive rights to an Amerindian language family
> which
> includes over 30 different languages, GM is hoping to counter similar
> efforts by competing companies such as DaimlerChrysler, which
> recently
> purchased Portuguese.
>
>  "The GM arrangement is very generous," said Bureau of Indian Affairs
> (BIA) Secretary Gerald Howton.  "It permits the tribes to continue
> using the languages free of charge through 2030, after which point,
> if
> there are any surviving native speakers, they can continue to use the
> language under attractive subscription terms."  Any names which GM
> adopts as automobile names will be removed from eligibility, but GM
> has
> agreed to provide a list of no fewer than three synonyms for any word
> removed from circulation.
>
>  "This is incredibly insulting," said Powhatan tribal elder Mark
> Matoaka
> before scaring this reporter away with stern glances.
>
>  "The BIA will do everything it can to ensure that the funds from GM
> are
> distributed fairly and equitably," said Howton.  "Our record speaks
> for
> itself."
>
>
> ----- End message from cashcash at EMAIL.ARIZONA.EDU -----