a request

[Richard Zane Smith]

This morning I couldn't sleep because of sciatic nerve pain.We live out in
the boonies, 4:00 it was dark,
so got up to run down the road, a car came over the hill and hit my dog.
The woman obviously felt terrible,and guilty "*I'm SOOO sorry*..." she
said...and *it communicated.*..she *really regretted* what had happened
and that she was in any way involved in it. I had no doubt it ruined her
morning if not her entire day.

"Its not your fault" i said trying to reassure her, "look she's still on
four legs, she'll be ok."
our poor dog limped back home following me....*now I felt horribly wretched
and guilty!*
If i hadn't gone for the run, the dogs wouldn't have followed..(they follow
me every morning when i hike on the land).
I found myself tearing up, rubbing her belly as she lay curled up in
misery. saying the same damn words!  "...*I'm so so sorry*..."

Perhaps in English , such expressions are all about context and emphasis,
exuding regret...not the actual "words"
When intense emotion and emphasis is there, we can feel *sincerity and angst
* coming from the speakers heart.

But an *official *apology...podium,suit and tie, perfumed, hairsprayed,
cameras and mics, handshaking, speeches
begins to communicate something entirely different....even if there are
tears.
even...possibly something distrustful or suspicious to victims or victims
descendants...
but not obviously to everyone...for there are MANY different ways to
*hear*a word.

Suzies wagged her tail and turning ever so slightly to allow her belly
rubbed....and some assurance was given
that i am not despised and evil in the sight of this little innocent one
whom my carelessness got her hurt....
She seemed to receive *my emphasis and tone and then gave to ME an act of
her own gentleness...*
*expressing..."see i trust you...no hard feelings"...*

Richard Zane Smith
Wyandotte Ok.




On Thu, May 26, 2011 at 9:48 AM, Dr. MJ Hardman <hardman at ufl.edu> wrote:

>  Turns out that my roofer is Crow.  He says that he spoke the language
> fluently at one time, but he married out of the tribe and now lives in
> Florida, not Montana.  He has four children.  I promised him a list of
> internet sites with Crow that might interest his himself and his children
> (and maybe his wife as well!).  Suggestions please?
>
> He says that that a number of his uncles were actors in the movie Little
> Big Man.  I have heard of it but have not seen it (no surprise; I see almost
> no movies).
>
> He was talking of the loss of language even during his lifetime.  He seemed
> very pleased that there was interest in recovery.  Given my work, anything I
> can do that is wanted I will.  I gave him a copy of the Actas of our 1975
> conference of speakers of indigenous languages of Latin America.
>
> On another point: in Jaqaru there is no ‘courtesy’ form of saying ‘I’m
> sorry’.  One must be specific, like, we have quarreled, let’s not quarrel
> anymore.  And the word that is translated as ‘sin, fault’ I think is a
> meaning imposition from the church.  Old women, like me, look over our
> descendents (as I did just the other day when they were all gathered
> together) and we say ‘nan juchanht”wa’, it’s my fault’.  My mother-in-law
> used to say it.  At first it much surprised me; it took watching and
> listening to understand.  Ah the misunderstandings imposed by the church
> (mostly Jesuits)! And their works be the only ways left in some cases of the
> early contact.   MJ
>



-- 
rzs at wildblue.net

richardzanesmith.wordpress.com
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