[Lexicog] Christmas Puns

[Fritz Goerling]

What do they call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses



What do you call Santa Claus after he's fallen into a fireplace?
Krisp Kringle


Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
Santa's little Elvis



Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
"Rude Olph"


What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet



What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
Comet


What is the cow's holiday greeting?
Mooooory Christmas



What does Santa like to eat?
A jolly roll



Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen



What does Santa say when he is sick?
OH OH NO!



If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe



How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With his North Pole-aroid



What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
Santa Claus-trophbia



What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws



Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him



What can Santa give away and still keep?
A cold



Why do giraffes get Christmas gifts every year?
They are so good that they'll stick their necks out for anyone.



Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.



What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!



What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish



Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.



What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games
in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer



How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!



What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic



Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.



What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite



What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood



What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes



What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve



What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells



Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.



What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary
alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has No L.






 
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