[Lexicog] to let one's hair down

[William Poser]

I am a native speaker of American English. To me "to let one's hair
down" has the sense of "to be frank, to say what is on your mind",
but I think that it can only be used in that sense when the restriction
that is relaxed is due to reserve as opposed, say, to a desire not
to offend one's interlocuter. For example, I remember an occasion
in which someone I had met when he was a student in one of my classes
with whom I had become friendly asked me how I could stand certain
mutual acquaintances, whom he correctly regarded as racist. This is
a situation that I would describe as "letting our hair down", because
the reason we had not previously spoken about such things is that we did
not know each other well and had started out in the student-teacher
relationship. On the other hand, if I am with a close friend I have
known for many years and say something that I think may upset her,
that could be described as being frank or blunt but not as
"letting our hair down" because my reservations about speaking so
bluntly were not due to the reserved nature of the relationship.

Bill

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