Saying ‘Adios’ To Spanglish

[Harold Schiffman]

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Saying 'Adios' To Spanglish

Growing up, I wanted nothing to do with my heritage. My kids made me see how
wrong that was.
NEWSWEEK
Updated: 4:00 PM ET Dec 8, 2007

N*i**ñ**os, vengan a comer*. my 18-month-old son pops out from behind the
couch and runs to his high chair. My 7-year-old has no idea what I just
said. He yells out from the same hiding spot: "What did you say?" My older
son does not suffer from hearing loss. He is simply not bilingual like his
brother, and did not understand that I was telling him to come eat.

Growing up in the poorest neighborhoods of El Paso, Texas, I did everything
I could to escape the poverty and the color of my skin. I ran around with
kids from the west side of town who came from more-affluent families and
usually didn't speak a word of Spanish. I spoke Spanish well enough, but I
pretended not to understand it and would not speak a word of it. In school,
I refused to speak Spanish even with my Hispanic friends. I wanted nothing
to do with it. While they joined Chicano clubs, all I wanted to do was be in
the English literacy club. Even at home, the only person to whom I spoke
Spanish was my mom, and that's only because she wouldn't have understood me
otherwise.

After I got married and moved to Tucson, Ariz., I thought I was in heaven.
Though I was actually in the minority, I felt right at home with my Anglo
neighbors. When I got pregnant with my first son, I decided that English
would be his first language and, if I could help it, his only language. I
never spoke a word of Spanish around him, and when his grandparents asked
why he did not understand what they were saying, I made excuses. He
understands but he's very shy. He understands the language but he refuses to
speak it. In reality, I didn't want him to speak it at all.

In a land of opportunity, I soon realized I had made a big mistake. I was
denying my son one of the greatest gifts I had to offer: the ability to be
bilingual. I saw the need for interpreters on a daily basis in the health
field where I worked. Even trips to the grocery store often turned into an
opportunity to help someone who could not understand English or vice versa.

In the nursing home where I worked, I met a wonderful group of
Spanish-speaking individuals, whom I bonded with right away. I longed to
speak like they did, enunciating the words correctly as they rolled off
their tongues. It sounded like music to me. I started watching Spanish *
telenovelas* and listening to Spanish morning shows on the radio just to
improve my vocabulary. I heard words that had never been uttered around me
growing up in a border town where people spoke a mixture of Spanish and
English. A co-worker from Peru had the most eloquent way of speaking in a
language that I recognized as Spanish yet could not fully comprehend. Did I
also cheat myself of being bilingual?

Today I can take any English word and, like magic, easily find its Spanish
equivalent. I now live a life that is fully bilingual. I hunger for foreign
movies from Spain and the interior of Mexico just to challenge myself by
trying to guess what all the words mean. I even surprise my mom when she
doesn't understand what I'm saying. I know she is proud that I no longer
speak Spanglish, and I am no longer embarrassed to speak Spanish in public.
I see it as a secret language my husband and I share when we don't want
those around us to understand what we are saying. I quickly offer the use of
my gift when I see someone struggling to speak English or to understand
Spanish, and I quietly say a prayer of thanks that I am not in his or her
shoes. I feel empowered and blessed that I can understand a conversation in
another language and quickly translate it in my head.

My second son has benefited from my bilingual tongue. I speak only Spanish
to him while my husband speaks only English; I am proud to say that his
first language was Spanish. My 7-year-old, on the other hand, still has a
way to go. I'm embarrassed that I foolishly kept my beautiful native
language from him. I hope I have not done irreversible damage. A couple of
years ago, I began speaking to him only in Spanish, but I had not yet heard
him utter a complete sentence back.

Then, as if my prayers were answered, from behind the couch, I heard a tiny
voice exclaim, *Ven, mira esto.* It was my older son instructing his little
brother to come look at what he was doing. Maybe I won't be his first
bilingual teacher, but it looks like he's already learning from another
expert—his bilingual brother. Maybe it's not too late after all.

*Salais lives in Tucson.*
 URL: http://www.newsweek.com/id/74462


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