[lg policy] Grant Barrett ’s buzzwords for 2009:

[Harold Schiffman]

December 19, 2009
 By MARK LEIBOVICH and GRANT BARRETT

You could Tweet all the highlights of 2009 and still have time for
dithering. But to catalog the lingo? It would be like one long torture memo.
We need to impose a timetable. Let’s get right to our full plate. It was a
year for birthers, deathers and Tenthers to go all nine-iron on the Obama
brand. Catchphrases and buzzwords can tell us much about a year past — what
resonated, what stuck, what the year revealed about the sensibility of the
nation, whether you’re a wise Latina woman, a mini-Madoff, a teabagger or
Balloon Boy. But if ever there were a year to put buzzwords before a death
panel, this would be it, before the aporkalypse comes.

If the year were a Government Motors car, it would be a clunker. There was
so much distraction. Things like Great Recessions and mancessions will do
that, distract you (like a Dracula sneeze). So will texting while driving,
which is far more dangerous in the scheme of things than sexting (unless
it’s sexting while driving), and maybe even hiking the Appalachian Trail.
Whatever, it was a year when a lot of people acted stupidly. What is there
to say about a period in which Tea Parties, swine flu parties and a beer
summit became desirable social engagements in certain circles?

If you think any of this sounds fun, you lie. If this year were a state
dinner, even the Salahis wouldn’t Salahi it. If it were a purity test, it
would be Scozzafava’d. So let’s just call it an El Stiffo, pull the trigger
and have Sully ditch the whole year in the Hudson. Declare 2009 a mulligan.
You know Tiger wishes he could. But that’s a public option. I’mma let you
finish. *—Mark Leibovich*

 *Grant Barrett’s buzzwords for 2009:*

   [image: image]
aporkalypse

Undue worry in response to swine flu. Includes unnecessary acts like
removing nonessential kisses from Mexican telenovelas and the mass slaughter
of pigs in Egypt.

 [image: image]
athey

An atheist. Usually derogatory.

 birther

A person who believes that Barack Obama was not born in the United States
and therefore can’t be president.

 [image: image]
bonus tax

A proposed levy on bonuses given to employees of companies that received
federal bailout money. Related terms included *botax*, a proposed levy on
cosmetic procedures. It would be used to help pay for health care reform and
is a play on Botox, a trade name for a substance used to smooth skin
wrinkles. There was also *cow tax*, what critics call a proposed fee for
methane emissions. Would it apply to methane-emitting cows, they wonder?

 [image: image]
car tone

Music or ambient noise proposed for use by electric cars, whose quietness
otherwise makes them go unnoticed by pedestrians.

 Cash for Clunkers

A government program in which older automobiles are exchanged for pollution
credits or rebates on newer and more fuel-efficient models. First popular in
1990 but resurgent in 2009.

 [image: image]
Chimerica

The intertwined economies of China and the United States, which together
dominate the world economy. Popularized by Niall Ferguson in his book “The
Ascent of Money.”

 [image: image]
conflict minerals

Gold, tin, tungsten and tantalum, widely used in electronic devices and
commonly mined in politically unstable countries or regions. Related to
conflict diamonds.

 [image: image]
crash blossom

A headline that can be misconstrued, like “Shark Attacks Puzzle Experts.”
Will Shortz is not in jeopardy; the sharks are just confounding scientists.

 death panel

A supposed committee of doctors and/or bureaucrats who would decide which
patients receive treatment, ostensibly leaving the rest to die. Also *
deather*, someone who believes erroneously that the government would have
death panels under health care reform.

 [image: image]
Dracula sneeze

Covering the mouth with the crook of the elbow when sneezing, like Dracula
hiding his face with a cape.

 drive like a Cullen

To drive like a bat out of hell, like a member of the Cullen family in the
“Twilight” vampire books by Stephenie Meyer.

 Government Motors

A nickname for General Motors, which is now majority owned by the federal
government.

 El Stiffo

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger of California said he wasn’t El Stiffo, meaning a
colorless character, after he was criticized for brandishing a large knife
in a video promoting the sale of state property to raise money.

 [image: image]
gaymarry, gay-marry

To marry someone of the same sex. Also used hyperbolically to mean to form
an unconventional relationship, as in, “I love my new cellphone so much I
want to gay-marry it.”

 Great Recession

A reference to the current economic downturn. Used at least a few times for
every recession since 1980, but never with such vigor as now.

 green shoots

Signs of an economic recovery or of a company’s financial turnaround.

 heinie

A pronunciation of H1N1, the swine flu virus.

 I’mma let you finish

Part of Kanye West’s interruption of Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the
MTV Video Music Awards, a widely popular joke meme on the Internet.

 jeggings

Jean leggings.

 mancession

A recession that affects men more than women. Also hecession.

 meep

An exclamation used disruptively or nonsensically by young people. From
Beaker of “The Muppet Show.”

 mini-Madoff

A person who perpetrates a Ponzi scheme smaller than Bernie Madoff’s.

 netbook

An inexpensive portable computer, usually smaller than a laptop but larger
than a smartphone, intended mainly for use with the Internet.

 [image: image]
Octomom

Nadya Suleman, who gave birth to octuplets in January.

 orphan books

Volumes still in copyright but out of print and unavailable for sale, and
whose copyright holders cannot be found. Rose in 2007 but peaked this year
with the fierce discussion over the proposed Google Books settlement.

 public option

A government-run health insurance program proposed as part of the health
care legislation making its way through Congress.

 sexting

The sending of sexual messages or pictures by mobile telephone.

 social distancing

Staying away from other people so as not to catch or spread the flu. Common
since late 2005 but surging in 2009.

 swine flu party

A gathering held so people can be infected by a mild form of swine flu, in
theory creating antibodies against more dangerous forms. Such a practice is
universally discouraged by doctors.

 Tea Party

An organized gathering of antitax, antigovernment and/or anti-Obama
protestors. Also teabagger, a derogatory name for attendees of Tea Parties,
probably coined in allusion to a sexual practice.

 Tenther

A person who believes the federal government is mostly illegal because it
usurps rights that belong to the states, in violation of the 10th Amendment,
which reads, “The powers not delegated to the United States by the
Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States
respectively, or to the people.”

 torture memos

Bush administration documents that secretly authorized the torture of
suspected terrorists.

 vook

A digital book that includes some video in its text.

 warmist

Someone who believes that the earth is jeopardized by becoming warmer.
Shortened from global warmist and used mainly by people who are skeptical
about global warming.

 wise Latina woman

A term used by Judge Sonya Sotomayor in a speech before she was a Supreme
Court justice, suggesting to some observers that she believed ethnicity and
gender had a role in determining law.

 [image: image]
ununbium

The temporary name of a newly found element, Uub for short. It comes from
the Latin for the element’s number, 112.



Grant Barrett is the editorial director of the online dictionary
Wordnik.com<http://www.wordnik.com/>and co-host of the syndicated
public radio show “A Way With Words.”

Illustrations by Valero Doval.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/20/weekinreview/20buzz.html?hp

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