14.1067, All: LINGUIST List Taken Over - MaLingua Exclusive
LINGUIST List
linguist at linguistlist.org
Thu Apr 10 04:28:06 UTC 2003
LINGUIST List: Vol-14-1067. Thu Apr 10 2003. ISSN: 1068-4875.
Subject: 14.1067, All: LINGUIST List Taken Over - MaLingua Exclusive
Moderators: Anthony Aristar, Wayne State U.<aristar at linguistlist.org>
Helen Dry, Eastern Michigan U. <hdry at linguistlist.org>
Reviews (reviews at linguistlist.org):
Simin Karimi, U. of Arizona
Terence Langendoen, U. of Arizona
Home Page: http://linguistlist.org/
The LINGUIST List is funded by Eastern Michigan University, Wayne
State University, and donations from subscribers and publishers.
Editor for this issue: Richard John Harvey <richard at linguistlist.org>
==========================================================================
To post to LINGUIST, use our convenient web form at
http://linguistlist.org/LL/posttolinguist.html.
=================================Directory=================================
1)
Date: 10 Apr 2003 02:28:05 -0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: 'LINGUIST List' Now 'LINGUIST Cook Online' - Hostile Takeover
2)
Date: Thu, 10 Apr 2003 00:05:20 +0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame
-------------------------------- Message 1 -------------------------------
Date: 10 Apr 2003 02:28:05 -0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: 'LINGUIST List' Now 'LINGUIST Cook Online' - Hostile Takeover
*********************
*** MaLingua 2003 ***
*********************
10th April 2003
~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html
'LINGUIST List' Now 'LINGUIST Cook Online' - Hostile Takeover
MaLingua EXCLUSIVE!
Shocking news has reached the desks of MaLingua that will impact not
only the discipline of linguistics, but the business world as well!
The LINGUIST List, for years a staple of the linguistic community, has
been taken over by the Food is Very Profitable Network (FVPN) in a
hostile share deal that will make millions for the company, but will
leave academics everywhere dry-mouthed and undernourished. The new
company will be marketed as LINGUIST Cook Online.
A surprised Wall Street is still trying to recover from the
astonishing deal that was announced at the start of this morning's
trading - but the general feeling is one of euphoria at the serious
bundles of cash that will be made in the next few days. Forecasts are
off the charts and the projected turnover for the next year is so much
that the MaLingua office calculator started to smoke.
Questions have been raised as to how such a large acquisition could
have happened without any leaks. The official statement released by
FVPN is that disgruntled graduate students at LINGUIST, annoyed with
the draconian working conditions and a diet of bread and water, were
easily swayed by the offer. Loyalty was secured and secrecy assured
and the team pulled together in a midnight swoop on the moderators,
leaving the crestfallen leaders of LINGUIST powerless to resist the
move. FVPN already owns three of the largest publishing houses, four
national and eight regional television stations, six digital radio
stations; and this is just in America. Via their two custom made power
satellites FVPN provides the world with a plethora of food and drink
related programming that is second to none.
Many analysts are saying that this is the final step in a ten-year
crusade by the network to position themselves as the world leader in
the Food Information sector. The takeover will bolster the one area in
which FVPN has not made an impact: the Food Metadata Digitization
quarter of the market. Gayathri Sriram, FVPN's chief technical
consultant said that "the dot com era was over, dead, finished! With
this exciting move, we have spiced up the markets into a dot 'come
again'." Sriram informed us that LINGUIST Cook Online will take full
advantage of the technology developed by LINGUIST List, especially the
dynamic web architecture to deliver recipes and cooking tips to the
kitchens of the world. She also told us a lot of other technical stuff
that we didn't understand.
BACKHANDERS!
MaLingua can exclusively reveal that this recipe for success is not as
well mixed as it sounds. A variety of sources have informed us that
this pot-luck stinks of insider deals, backhanders and unsavory
ingredients. We have learned that the Department of Justice Anti-trust
division has been investigating this and a number of other deals
involving FVPN, dating back to 1997. Enquiries have centered on the
dynamic and megalomaniac head of the network, Dr. P.C. Ival. As
always, Dr. Ival was not available for comment; his reclusive nature
has often been a cause for rumors. But we are told that in order to
secure this deal, many a brown envelope containing lots of cash and
raw linguistic data has been passed 'under the table' to high ranking
linguists around the world. Dr. Ival's international-wide government
connections are also very strong - his influential daily newspaper in
Britain The Sun Ripened Tomato was crucial for the success of the
current leadership to gain power; in France he publishes the well
respected Le Monde de la Cuisine; in Germany his Die Welt des Kochens
carries much political weight; and of course in America The Cooking
Post is the favorite read of many a representative on Capitol
Hill. This strange and hermit-like individual is steering the course
of Food Information wealth directly to the well stocked vaults of
FVPN's bank account.
DEVASTATING BLOW
MaLingua, after months of research into P.C. Ival, can exclusively
report the true identity of this tyrannical ruler. After months of
crack investigative journalism, our highly trained team has uncovered
a conspiracy that will rock the discipline of linguistics, shake the
foundations of scientific enquiry and send shockwaves though the
economic infrastructure of the global economy that FVPN dictates. The
real person behind P.C. Ival is not a person at all - he's a cat! And
not just any cat, but Percival The LINGUIST List Cat
(http://linguistlist.org/percy.html).
This one-time mastermind behind the LINGUIST project disappeared about
six weeks ago, much to the distress of the moderators and student
crew, leaving a message that he'd had enough and needed a holiday. As
it turns out the postcards that he sent from around the world were
just cover stories for the real purpose of his travels: pulling
together a consortium of the world's richest fat-cats to raise the
cash he needed to implement his takeover plans.
Everyone at LINGUIST was fooled. For years Percy has been directing
LINGUIST towards the goal of gentle academic achievement, when in
truth behind the scenes he was running the most powerful collection of
cooking enthusiasts ever known; his sole aim for LINGUIST List was to
turn it into the Premier Web Portal for Cooking Data in the world. The
moderators were so convinced by Percival's lies that they even went to
the extent of hiring a private detective to chase the delinquent
super-brain all around the world in the hope of catching him and
bringing him back. Percy was always one step ahead of his captors,
however, and somehow managed to sneak his way back to LINGUIST List HQ
in time to oversee the conversion to LINGUIST Cook Online. See Steve
Moran's brilliant MaLingua Photo Journalism at:
http://linguistlist.org/malinga-photostory.html
The future of LINGUIST Cook Online and FVPN is uncertain, but we know
that the moderators in a last-ditch attempt to recover the List to its
rightful seat of excellence in academia have mounted a Retaliation
Takeover bid, and are currently seeking out friendly, good-natured
linguists to make donations towards the campaign. So far they have
raised $38,346.57 - a staggering amount considering the avaricious
nature of the opposition. They still need another $11,653.43 if they
are to reach the $50,000 needed to overcome the corporate giant FVPN
and its nasty feline mastermind P.C. Ival. Helen Aristar-Dry and
Anthony Aristar are optimistic; they hope that if control can be
regained Percival can be sent to a rehabilitation center for
megalomaniacal-inclined kitties so he can come back to work and
LINGUIST can return to normal. To help, visit:
http://linguistlist.org/donation.html
MaLingua, as always, will keep you posted of further developments with
this story.
**********************************************************************
WHAT'S COOKING AT LINGUIST
As our reporters found out, in the LINGUIST offices work has already
started to appropriately embrace the new challenge of LINGUIST Cook
Online. Two out of three offices have been equipped to serve as
kitchen units in order to test new recipes, and a ramp is being
constructed to reach the sixth-floor window of the third office that
was remodelled as a drive-through. The departmental lounge has been
changed into a cosy "LINGUIST Cafe", where junior student editors who
so far had to work for LINGUIST as unpaid volunteers can now earn
their way through college by waiting on tables. "I'm thrilled,"
admitted Sobha Siripurapu, "This is the first dollar bill I've seen
since I started working for LINGUIST. I'm gonna keep it forever!" The
menu is full of simple, yet nourishing and sophisticated dishes, which
have already achieved legendary fame among linguists worldwide. In
recognition of the great market demand, some of the recipes were
published in the form of a book under the title "The LINGUIST List
Cookbook", available from LINGUIST List Publishing Services.
(http://linguistlist.org/premiums.html)
Other student editors are also excited about the prospect of earning
real money and are very enthusiastic about their new career
path. Richard John Harvey, the former LINGUIST financial manager, now
maitre d' of the Cafe, expressed his hopes in the following words:
"There is almost certainly a probability of a promise that we'll at
least be able to regularly afford a box of donuts for the weekly
meeting, a luxury that so far has been out of our financial reach."
The development of the new business takes a great deal of devotion and
perseverance, features that, fortunately, are not scarce among the
crew. When asked about plans for the future, Zhenwei Chen told our
reporters through the clouds of steam that filled the LINGUIST C
office that he is currently preparing to enter the Iron Chef contest
and is determined to win. "Improvisation and quick reaction to
critical situations became my second nature after I worked as a
programmer for LINGUIST. The hardest part was learning to juggle the
knives." However, sometimes their dedication to the cause is stronger
than their civil obedience: editor Prashant Nagaraja was recently
arrested for attempted smuggling of large quantities of Indian spices
into the US. His official representative Lakshmi Narayanan managed to
ensure his release soon afterwards in exchange for a secret apple pie
recipe not published in the cookbook; however, the batch was lost in
the hands of a greedy immigration officer, a fact that compelled the
LINGUIST dry goods supply manager Tomoko Okuno to devise an
alternative delivery route through Japan to avoid similar incidents.
It seems that only the former moderators Helen Aristar-Dry and Anthony
Aristar cannot accept the new order. According to the reports of
student editors, they refused to have anything to do with LINGUIST
Cook Online, and, to lend weight to their opposition, decided to start
a protein-only diet as a sign of protest. "They will sit there and
just look at the donuts," commented James Yuells, glancing fearfully
around, "It's really creepy." Marisa Ferrara, through a mouthful of
cheese tortellini that she was just testing, could not agree more: "We
decided to cook all carbohydrate-charged dishes from the cookbook and
lock them in a room with Helen and Tony. The sooner they accept the
situation, the better." When approached for a comment, Anthony Aristar
loomed menacingly and, waving a German sausage at our reporter, said
only: "We'll see who gets to order the dessert."
-------------------------------- Message 2 -------------------------------
Date: Thu, 10 Apr 2003 00:05:20 +0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame
Help the LINGUIST Moderators recapture the site and get back to
normal. They need $50,000 to do it.
The LINGUIST List is under the umbrella of Eastern Michigan University
and as such can receive donations through the EMU Foundation, which is
a registered 501(c) Non Profit organization. Our Federal Tax number
is 38-6005986. These donations can be offset against your federal and
sometimes your state tax return (U.S. tax payers only). For more
information visit the IRS Web-Site, or contact your financial advisor.
Many companies also offer a gift matching scheme, such that they will
match any gift you make to a non-profit organization. Normally this
entails your contacting your human resources department and sending us
a form that the EMU Foundation fills in and returns to your employer.
This is generally a simple administrative procedure that doubles the
value of your gift to LINGUIST, without costing you an extra
penny. Please take a moment to check if your company operates such a
scheme.
HOW TO DONATE
You can make a contribution by selecting one of three convenient
payment methods: secure credit card form, check, or wire transfer.
You can also PLEDGE your support to LINGUIST and pay later, i.e. send
in a check. Also, if you do not want to use a credit card, but wish to
pay in a currency other than US Dollars, you can donate via our
European bank account held in Switzerland. See below for details:
SECURE CREDIT CARD FORM:
http://linguistlist.org/donate.html
CHECK:
Please make checks payable to 'The LINGUIST List Editorial Support
Fund'. The address is:
The LINGUIST Editorial Support Fund
Department of English Language and Literature
612 Pray Harrold
Eastern Michigan University
Ypsilanti
MI, 48197
U.S.A.
WIRE TRANSFER:
For details on how to transfer funds by wire, please contact LINGUIST
at the address donate at linguistlist.org. Both an American and a
European bank account are available.
PLEDGE NOW, PAY LATER:
If you would like to make a pledge of support, please go to:
http://linguistlist.org/donate.html
ALREADY PLEDGED:
If you have already pledged to LINGUIST and would now like to pay by
credit card, please go to:
http://linguistlist.org/creditcard-general.html
and select 'PAY PREVIOUS PLEDGE' as the Type of Payment from the
dropdown list provided.
******************************************************
The LINGUIST List Hall of Fame
ANGELS ($1000 and over)
Blackwell Linguist List Plus
European Language Resources Association
John Benjamins
Natural Language Processing Group, Microsoft Research
MAINSTAYS ($100 to $1000)
Adam Werle
Akira Yamamoto
Andrea Schalley
Andrew Carnie
Arienne M. Dwyer
Arnold M. Zwicky
Barbara H. Partee
Benny Lee
Bernard Comrie
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Billy Clark
Brent de Chene
Carlota Smith
Carolyn Hartnett
Catherine Walter
Colin Phillips & Andrea Zukowski
Dan Slobin
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David Parkinson
Department of Linguistics, Rice University
Department of Translation and Philology (Linguistics Section), Universitat Pompeu Fabra
Dipika Mukherjee
Donna Christian
Dr. MJ Hardman
E. Wayles Browne
Earl M Herrick
Elaine J. Francis, Alexander L. Francis
Elizabeth D. Liddy
Elizabeth Riddle
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elly van gelderen
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Esther Herrera Zendejas
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Gregory D. S. Anderson
Haihua Pan
Heike Behrens
Herbert Stahlke
Hubert CUYCKENS
Irmengard Rauch and Gerald F. Carr
James J.Jenkins
Jean Ann and Bruce Peng
jeanette gundel
John Kingston
John Lawler
John REIGHARD
Julie Auger
Karl Heinz Wagner
Keren Rice
Kevin R. Gregg
Laura Wagner
Laurel Watkins
Linda Rashidi
Linda Thornburg, Klaus Panther
Linguistic Society of Hawai'i
Linguistics Department - Cornell University
Lisa Galvin
Ljiljana Progovac
Margaret Winters and Geoff Nathan
Marianna Pool
Mark Sawyer
Martin Haspelmath
Mary Harper
Michael Hess
Michael Silverstein
Michael Swan
Monica Macaulay, Joe Salmons
Natasha Warner
Pam and Allen Munro
Patrick Chew
Paul Chapin
Paul M. Postal
Pauline Jacobson
Rebecca Larche Moreton
Robert s. Belvin
Robin Thelwall
Ronnie Wilbur, Purdue Linguistics Program
Rudolph Troike
Russell Tomlin
Sally McConnell-Ginet
Sarah Ross
Satoshi Oku
Shanley Allen
Sharon Obeidallah
Shirley Silver
Stavroula Tsiplakou
Terry Langendoen
Theo Vennemann
Tokyo University of Foreign Studies - English Department
Tom Milligan
University of Edinburgh- Department of Linguistics
- Plus 7 anonymous donors
SUPPORTERS ($50 to $100)
Akira Ishikawa
Alan H. Kim
Alfredo Torrejon
Alice Faber
Alicia Pousada
Andrei Popescu-Belis (for ISSCO, Geneva)
Andy Kehler
Anja Geumann
Anja Wanner
Anna Bosch
Anne Bezuidenhout
Anthony Davis
Astra Ozols
Ayako Yamagata
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Betty Phillips
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Charles Gribble
Charles Scott
Chauncey C. Chu
Christine Winskowski
Christopher Johnson
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Cornelia Tschichold
Cory R C Sheedy
Daniel Villa
Deborah Anderson
Department of Linguistics, University of Canterbury, New Zealand
Diane Brentari
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geoffrey nunberg
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Graduate Students, Department of Linguistics, University of Toronto
Grover Hudson
Grover M. Hudson
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Languages, Literatures, Linguistics at Syracuse University
Larry LaFond
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Martina Wiltschko
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Mary Shapiro
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Meyer, Wolfgang J.
Mike Cahill
Miwa Nishimura
Morio Hamada
Nan Bernstein Ratner
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Nancy Sullivan
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Neil Olsen
Northeastern University Linguistics Program
Ocke-Schwen Bohn
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Patricia Donaher
Paul Kerswill
Philip LeSourd
Philippe BARBAUD
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Pius ten Hacken
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Trudi A. Patterson
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Ulrike Demske
Valia Kordoni
Veronika Koller
Victoria L. Bergvall
Virginia LoCastro
Wally Anderson
Wannie Carstens (on behalf of School of Languages, Potchefstroom University, South Africa)
Yi-ching Su
Zenzi M Griffin
Zouhair Maalej
- Plus 16 anonymous donors
DONORS (Up to $50)
A.-M. Olsen
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maire noonan
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Matt Pearson
Matthew H. Ciscel
Max W. Wheeler
Mayrene Bentley
Meltem Kelepir
Mengistu Amberber
Meri Larjavaara
Michael Brooks
Michael Erard
Michael Horlick
Michael Hughes
Michael Kliffer
Michael L. Mazzola
Michael Newman
Michael Parrish Key
Michael Pasquale
Michael Pickering
Michael R. Marlo
Mihaela Pirvulescu
Mikael Parkvall
Miquel Simonet
Mira Kawaletz
Mireille Tremblay
Miriam Meyerhoff
Mogens Hygum Jensen
Morris Salkoff
Mélanie Jouitteau
Nancy Hall
Nancy J. Stenson
Nancy Stern
Nancy Wiegand
Nanfred Gehrke
Nathan Sanders
Neil Bermel
Nick Caffrey
Nicla Rossini
Nicolas Berthomeau
Niki Collier
Norbert E. Fuchs
Notis Toufexis
Ora Matushansky
Paco Hernández Paricio (Univ. de Zaragoza)
Paul Fallon, Christina Kakava
Paul Justice
Paul Kilpatrick
Paul Zhang
Paula and Darren Beck
Paula Radetzky
Paula W. Baird
Pavol Stekauer
Peter Menzel
Peter Sells
Phaedra Royle
Phil Chappell
Prisca Augustyn
Qing Zhang
Queen's University, Linguistics
Rachael Allbritten
Rachel Nordlinger
Ranchhod, University of Lisbon
Randall Gess
Randy Sharp
Raphael Berthele
Ray LaVerghetta
Rebecca Shields
Rene J. Valdes
Richard A. Winters
Richard Schrodt
Richard Steiner
Richard Whitt
Richard Wright
Rick Lavin
Robert Bayley
Robert L., Clara B. Trammell
Roberta Chase-Borgatti
Robin Hooper
Robin Shoaps
Rodrigo Gutiérrez-Bravo
Roland Noske
Roland Pfau
Ron Artstein
Ronald Schaefer
Roser Saurí Colomer
Sabine Geldof
Sandra W. Smith
Sara Meilijson
Sarah Cummins
Sarah Harmon
Saskia Daalder
Scott Schwenter
Sebastian Ross Hagebaum
Seran Dogancay Aktuna
Shin Ja Hwang, SIL/Graduate Institute of Applied Linguistics
Shlomo Izre'el
Shuki Cohen
Silvina Montrul
Simon Musgrave
simon smith
Simone Mueller
Sky Sang-Geun Lee
SNEDDON, James
Stefan A. Frisch
Stefan Rijnhart
Steve Hartman Keiser
Steve Poteet
Steven Donahue Miami-Dade Community COllege
steven h. weinberger
Stuart Stewart
Sue Medeiros
Sun-Hee Lee
Susan Fiksdal
Susan G. Guion
Susanne Bartke
Susanne Gahl
Suying Hsiao
Suzette Haden Elgin
Sylvana Krausse
Tadhg '' hIfearnáin
Taka Shinya
Tamara Nicol
Tamra Wysocki
Tania Ionin
Tanja Collet --- University of Windsor
Tanya Ivanova
tim collett
Tobias Thelen
Tom Roeper
Tomislav Stojanov, Zagreb, Croatia
Ton van der Wouden
Toshihiro Sugawara
Tracey McHenry
Uli Reich
Umarani Pappuswamy
Umberto Ansaldo
Uri Horesh
Ute Smit
Vern M. Lindblad
Vernon L. Curts
Vic Ferreira, University of California, San Diego
Victoria Anderson
Victoria Vázquez Rozas
Vieri Samek-Lodovici
Vijayarani J. Fedson
Viktor Tron
Vincent De Rooij
Violetta Cavalli-Sforza
W. Keith Winkler
Weber Andrea
Will Fitzgerald
Wiltrud Mihatsch
WIM VANDENBUSSCHE, VRIJE UNIVERSITEIT BRUSSEL
Winifred Davies
Xose L. Regueira
Yuwen Lai
Z. Bond
Zaida A. Cintron
Zoe Toft, Wouter Jansen
Zsuzsanna Fagyal
- Plus 126 anonymous donors
******************************************************
MAJOR SUPPORTING PUBLISHERS
Blackwell Publishing
http://www.blackwellpublishing.com
Cambridge University Press
http://www.cup.org
Continuum International Publishing Group Ltd
http://www.continuumbooks.com
Elsevier Science Ltd.
http://www.elsevier.com/locate/linguistics
http://www.socscinet.com/linguistics
John Benjamins
http://www.benjamins.com/
http://www.benjamins.nl
Kluwer Academic Publishers
http://www.wkap.nl/
http://www.kluweronline.com
MIT Press
http://mitpress.mit.edu/
Mouton de Gruyter
http://www.degruyter.com
Oxford University Press
http://www.oup-usa.org/
Rodopi
http://www.rodopi.nl/
Routledge (Taylor and Francis)
http://www.routledge.com/
OTHER SUPPORTING PUBLISHERS
CSLI Publications
http://csli-publications.stanford.edu/
Cascadilla Press
http://www.cascadilla.com/
Evolution Publishing
http://www.evolpub.com
Graduate Linguistic Students' Assoc., Umass
http://server102.hypermart.net/glsa/index.htm
International Pragmatics Assoc.
http://ipra-www.uia.ac.be/ipra/
Linguistic Assoc. of Finland
http://www.ling.helsinki.fi/sky/
MIT Working Papers in Linguistics
http://web.mit.edu/mitwpl/
Multilingual Matters
http://www.multilingual-matters.com/
Pacific Linguistics
http://pacling.anu.edu.au/
Palgrave Macmillan
http://www.palgrave.com
Pearson Longman
http://www.pearsoneduc.com/catalog.html
SIL International
http://www.ethnologue.com/bookstore.asp
St. Jerome Publishing Ltd.
http://www.stjerome.co.uk/
Utrecht Institute of Linguistics
http://www-uilots.let.uu.nl/
******************************************************
INSTITUTIONS
American University of Sharjah
Bowne Global Solutions
Brigham Young University
Butler Hill Group
California State University, Dominguez Hills
City University of Hong Kong
Computer Science Innovations
Disetronic Medical Systems AG
Eastern Mediterranean University
Idilia Inc.
Indiana University
McGill University
National Tsing Hua University
Rhetorical Systems
Rochester Institute of Technology
Rutgers University
Scansoft Belgium
School of Oriental and African Studies
Seoul National University
Southern Illinois University Carbondale
Speechworks International Inc.
StreamSage
The University of Sheffield
The University of Texas at Arlington
University of Alberta
University of Amsterdam
University of Antwerp
University of Arizona
University of California, Santa Cruz
University of Edinburgh
University of Essex
University of Groningen
University of Helsinki
University of Kansas
University of Macau
University of Muenster, Germany
University of Ottawa
University of Puerto Rico
University of Rostock
University of South Florida
University of Tilburg
University of Tromso
University of Tromsø
Université du Québec en Outaouais
Université du Québec à Montréal
Uppsala University
Voice Futures
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