14.1079, All: LINGUIST Moderators Mount Counterattack!
LINGUIST List
linguist at linguistlist.org
Fri Apr 11 06:12:54 UTC 2003
LINGUIST List: Vol-14-1079. Fri Apr 11 2003. ISSN: 1068-4875.
Subject: 14.1079, All: LINGUIST Moderators Mount Counterattack!
Moderators: Anthony Aristar, Wayne State U.<aristar at linguistlist.org>
Helen Dry, Eastern Michigan U. <hdry at linguistlist.org>
Reviews (reviews at linguistlist.org):
Simin Karimi, U. of Arizona
Terence Langendoen, U. of Arizona
Home Page: http://linguistlist.org/
The LINGUIST List is funded by Eastern Michigan University, Wayne
State University, and donations from subscribers and publishers.
Editor for this issue: Richard John Harvey <richard at linguistlist.org>
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=================================Directory=================================
1)
Date: 11 Apr 2003 06:01:09 -0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: LINGUIST Moderators Mount Counterattack - More MaLingua Breaking News
2)
Date: 11 Apr 2003 04:05:45 -0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: Helen's Help Desk - A guide for young linguists
3)
Date: 11 Apr 2003 03:57:22 -0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: LINGUIST Horoscopes
4)
Date: Fri, 11 Apr 2003 02:02:03 +0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame
-------------------------------- Message 1 -------------------------------
Date: 11 Apr 2003 06:01:09 -0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: LINGUIST Moderators Mount Counterattack - More MaLingua Breaking News
*********************
*** MaLingua 2003 ***
*********************
11th April 2003
~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html
LINGUIST Moderators Mount Counterattack
Breaking News
As stock exchanges all around the world bask in the oven-ready warmth
of the takeover of LINGUIST List by FVPN (the Food is Very Profitable
Network), the newsdesk of MaLingua has been flooded with reports of
activity by the past moderators of the site, who are doing everything
they can to regain control and oust LINGUIST Cook Online for good.
As we exclusively reported yesterday, Dr. Helen Aristar-Dry and
Dr. Anthony Aristar have mounted a Retaliation Takeover bid, but so
far their efforts have been in vain as the worldwide linguistic
community seems unwilling to part with their hard-earned cash to
support the Aristars' campaign. City analysts predict that the
moderators will need a square $50,000 if they are to achieve their
goal; the word on the inside is that they only have $39,171.57!
When asked about how they intend to raise the extra $10,828.43, the
Aristars' Chief Recovery Officer, Major Michael Quentin Carruthers
Windsor Appleby, had this to say, "Balderdash!" He also added "Over
the last 11 years, the moderators and I have amassed a substantial
collection of inside information with regard to the world's leading
linguists; or to say it in the vernacular, my dear man, we have a
cauldronfull of rather juicy gossip and if we don't get the cash we
need, we're going to spill the beans, if you'll excuse the mixed
metaphor. Ha!"
Until they raise the cash, the moderators are trying all manner of
sneaky tricks to take charge. In an attempt to get the rebellious
student editors back in the right kitchen and cooking for the the home
team, they set up a meeting with promises of wealth and a bright
future after graduation. The meeting, however, soon separated into a
curd and whey situation, with fuming students on one side wishing to
keep their assets fluid, and the hardcore solid support on the other
side standing firm for the old order.
The meeting quickly dissolved and the share-holding students loyal to
LINGUIST Cook Online rushed back to the sixth floor of Pray Harrold
and barricaded themselves in the newly refitted LINGUIST offices. All
attempts by the moderators to breach the stronghold failed as the
determined crew started to throw eggs and pieces of diced carrot. At
the time of going to press, they are still firmly entrenched and the
tension is still at boiling point. Spokesperson for the 'Onliners'
Sarah Murray Mint gave us an exclusive interview via two paper cups
attached with a piece of string. "We're here to stay! Conditions are
so much better working for FVPN. We have share options and we can eat
as much as we want. A few were a bit reluctant at first, because
nobody could cook anything other than instant noodles. But the fear
soon melted away when we found a copy of The LINGUIST List Cookbook
behind the fridge. Now everyone is cooking like a master chef."
In a rare public appearance P.C. Ival, the head of FVPN and one-time
Percival The LINGUIST List Cat, was very adamant that LINGUIST Cook
Online was a permanent feature of the global economy. Waving off
reports of backhander deals (see yesterday's MaLingua), he stated that
he was confident about the loyalty of his new employees. At the same
time, he advised the moderators to give up the futile fight and to
look for a career change, like milking cows or something.
Read tomorrow's MaLingua for all the updates as this story unfolds...
***********************************************************************
Help the moderators in their fight - Donate today:
http://linguistlist.org/donate.html
For instructions on how to donate, see the last message in this issue
or visit:
http://linguistlist.org/donation.html
Get LINGUIST List back - Say No to LINGUIST Cook Online!
-------------------------------- Message 2 -------------------------------
Date: 11 Apr 2003 04:05:45 -0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: Helen's Help Desk - A guide for young linguists
~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html
Helen's Help Desk - A guide for young linguists
We at MaLingua are often asked for advice by young researchers just
starting out on the thorny path to linguistic success. "What," they
cry piteously, "can we do to insure that our linguistic papers attract
the eye of accomplished editors and are published in elite journals
like MaLingua?"
Sternly, we reply, "Learn to write! Moreover, learn to write like an
academic."
In our humble opinion, there are far too many young linguists who have
never been taught the proper style of polished obfuscation on which
our discipline, like many others, is founded. Our rejection desk is
cluttered with promising papers marred by a lamentably un-academic
lucidity. In an attempt to aid their hapless authors, however, the
MaLingua editorial staff has prepared a "translation sheet," which we
now have decided to make available to all struggling linguists. All
the young author needs to do is SAY THIS, when you MEAN THIS (see
below):
"... is undoubtedly a classic work" - I haven't read it, and nobody I
know has either
"It is well-established that..." - I can't find the reference
"As is well-known..." - I haven't even bothered to go to the library
"I would like to thank the following people for many helpful
discussions..." - These are the people who did my thinking for me
"any mistakes however are mine" - I may have misunderstood what they
said
"This research was generously supported by..." - Our local bar was
generously supported by...
"I conducted a pilot study..." - I asked my mother what she thought
"I am eclectic in my theoretical approach..." - I haven't kept up with
the literature
"This project presents certain challenges" - No one has a clue how to
do this
"There are several theory-internal issues..." - Even theoreticians
will be confused by this
"Interesting as Smith's ideas are..." - Smith is an idiot and so is
his theoretical approach
"Smith's ideas are problematic" - I can't think of any ideas of my
own, but Smith's are easy to criticize
"Without wishing to find undue fault with Smith's ideas..." - Smith is
smarter than I am, so I'd better be careful
"Smith's approach may be adequate with certain crucial modifications"
- I'm going to change a word here and there
"for further discussion, see Smith (1995)" - I have no idea what he
was talking about in this paper
"ideas for future research" - what I should have done instead
"...to be discussed in a forthcoming paper" - I'm too lazy to write
the paper, but I want credit for the idea
********************************************************************
Help the moderators with their Retaliation Takeover bid
Donate Now at http://linguistlist.org/donate.html
For instructions on how to donate to this worthy cause, see the last
message in this issue, or visit:
http://linguistlist.org/donation.html
With your help, we can get rid of the commercial giant that has taken
us over.
-------------------------------- Message 3 -------------------------------
Date: 11 Apr 2003 03:57:22 -0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: LINGUIST Horoscopes
~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:
http://linguistlist.org/malingua2003.html
LINGUIST Horoscopes
[t]
Love is in the air for you! You are certainly missing something in
your life, but you just haven't found it. You don't know who it is
that you need, but you will spend the month searching, bottom-up or
top-down. Don't worry, you'll know they are the right one because
they will seem to be coindexed with you. They may be attracted to
someone who seems to complement them very well, but don't be fooled.
They will feel a deep structural attachment to you. Don't give up,
though it may be a long while before they will be reconstructed to
their original position and you become one. In the meantime, money is
in your future, but you must first be willing to give in order to get
it. Lucky numbers to donate: 5, 25, 50, 100 (any currency will do).
[?](Glottal Stop)
It may seem as though everyone is shoving you into the background this
month, but your determination will keep you from disappearing. Just
remember, even silent voices are heard! You will be attracted to love
interests that may seem a bit loud, which could cause some friction
later in the month. Your talents with settling disputes will also be
called on this month, separating two equally strong and stubborn
individuals. They will thank you in the end, though, because they
will realize that they were just gliding towards disaster. You will
be getting a robust increase in funds next month, so feel free to give
to your favorite non-profit organization. LINGUIST List comes to
mind.
[^](Lambda)
Your abstraction may make you feel a bit misunderstood this month.
Nowhere is this more felt than in your love life, as you bind to a
varied group of individuals who seem to be attracted to your set ways.
Jealousy marks your actions, and you refuse to allow them to bind to
anyone else despite your own operations with countless others. You
are never quite satisfied by their variable banter, though, and have
faithfully tried to convert them to your one goal, truth. Alas, in
the end you may decide it is best to just replace them with an
argument. Donating to non-profit organizations will definitely
benefit your truth conditions.
[>>]
This is the month to go with your instincts. You may feel uncertain
about a few things, but your presuppositions will be right on target.
Everyone will know what you're talking about, and you will be
triggered by some great ideas. Spread your word in the workplace
because it will facilitate communication and keep everyone pragmatic.
Money may seem tight at the moment, but karma favors those who give in
times of need. LINGUIST List would like you to donate>>LINGUIST List
needs your support.
[>ø]
The stars call for a month of change for you. Don't try to fight it,
though, because change will allow you to develop an even more complex
structure. Those close to you may be resistant -- they will even
claim to not recognize you anymore. Your true friends will accept it,
but those who don't may stop communicating. You may feel that others
are borrowing too much without giving back, but don't complain. It is
always better to give, particularly to non-profit organizations that
need your support like the LINGUIST List, than to receive some form
you don't understand.
[/\
/\](Tree Diagram)
What a month to branch out in new directions! You may feel the need
to select some new friends, but be careful! Who you select now may
lead to restrictions later, and questions may rise. Some people very
close to you will feel the need to move on, and you must allow them to
transform. Although their roles may change, they will always be
attached to you in some way. Allow them to choose their case, even if
they can only show it in certain circumstances. And remember, the
tree of life receives its nourishment from unseen forces so it may
bear fruit for you. Give your fruit (money) to a well-deserving cause
(LINGUIST List).
[$]
Well, every society has people like you. We'll forgive you if you go
to this page: http://linguistlist.org/donation.html right away and
donate a little of what you've been hoarding. The best things in life
are free, but they usually don't get you a job, announce every
conference where you can present your paper, or subject themselves to
manipulating your one funny bone to get support. As if that weren't
enough, we've enlisted the stars and karma to be on our side, so you
get that "oh I did something good for the world" feeling when you
donate. For those who have donated, you're reading the wrong star
sign, but thank you. Karma will be good to you. For the rest, you
may trip very embarrassingly as you walk up the steps to your next
lecture. Books will go flying, notes will scatter, and everyone will
laugh at the "Linguist-who-trips". Blame karma.
********************************************************************
Help the moderators now - donate at:
http://linguistlist.org/donate.html
For instructions on how to donate see the last message in this issue
or visit:
http://linguistlist.org/donation.html
Say No To LINGUIST Cook Online!
-------------------------------- Message 4 -------------------------------
Date: Fri, 11 Apr 2003 02:02:03 +0000
From: linguist at linguistlist.org
Subject: How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame
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John R. te Velde
Jon Nissenbaum
Jonathan A. Glenn
Jonny Butler
Jorge Porras
Jose Camacho
Jose I. Hualde
Jose-Luis Mendivil
Josep Alba
Joybrato Mukherjee
Joyce McDonough
Judith Tonhauser
Julia Huettner
Julia James
Julia Penelope
Julie Ann Osborn
Julie Steele
Julio Santiago
Junji Kawai
Justin Fitzpatrick
Kara L. Gibson
Katharine Beals
Kathleen Wood
Kathryn Hansen
Kati Pletsch de Garcia
Kazuha Watanabe
Keigo Noda
Keira Gebbie Ballantyne
Keith GOERINGER
Ken Nakatani
Kent Johnson
Kevin Bretonnel Cohen
Kevin Varden
Kiel Christianson
Kira Gor
Kleanthes K. Grohmann
Kristen N. Asplin
Kristin Denham
Kylie Richardson
Lan-Hsin Chang
Laurel LaPorte-Grimes
Lauren Hall-Lew
Laurence Krute
LECARME Jacqueline
Leonardo Oliveira
Liang Chen
Liang Tao
Lilia Delfina Ruiz-Debbe
Line Mikkelsen
Lisa Davidson
Lisa Minnick
Lista 'Etnolinguistica'
Llorenç Comajoan
Loraine K Obler
Loretta O'Connor
Lori Levin
Lorna Feldman
Lotus Goldberg
Louisa Chiang
Luca Lorenzetti
Luis Alonso-Ovalle
Luis Gonzalez
Luis Vicente
Luisa Marti
Luisanna Fodde Melis
Lynn Burley
Lynn Santelmann
Lynsey Wolter
M. Pilar García Mayo
Ma. del, Carmen, Herrera, M.
maire noonan
Malcolm MacDonald
Malcolm Ross
Mara Henderson
Marc Deneire
Marek Koscielecki
Maren Pannemann
Maria Gouskova
MARIANN BAKRO-NAGY
Marianna Chodorowska-Pilch
Marie-Josée Goulet, Joël Bourgeoys
Marina Gorlach
Marina Nielsen
Mark A. Mandel
Mark McConville
Mark Sharp
Martin Ehala
Martin Kappus
Martin Salzmann
Mary C Gruber
Mary Grantham O'Brien
María, Paula, Santalla, del Río
Matt Pearson
Matthew H. Ciscel
Max W. Wheeler
Mayrene Bentley
Meltem Kelepir
Mengistu Amberber
Meri Larjavaara
Michael Brooks
Michael Erard
Michael Horlick
Michael Hughes
Michael Kliffer
Michael L. Mazzola
Michael Newman
Michael Parrish Key
Michael Pasquale
Michael Pickering
Michael R. Marlo
Miguel Angel Galindo, Nerea Mugerza-Ezenarro
Mihaela Pirvulescu
Mikael Parkvall
Miquel Simonet
Mira Kawaletz
Mireille Tremblay
Miriam Meyerhoff
Mogens Hygum Jensen
Morris Salkoff
Mélanie Jouitteau
Nancy Hall
Nancy J. Stenson
Nancy Stern
Nancy Wiegand
Nanfred Gehrke
Nathan Sanders
Neil Bermel
Nick Caffrey
Nicla Rossini
Nicolas Berthomeau
Niki Collier
Norbert E. Fuchs
Notis Toufexis
Ora Matushansky
Paco Hernández Paricio (Univ. de Zaragoza)
Paul Fallon, Christina Kakava
Paul Justice
Paul Kilpatrick
Paul Zhang
Paula and Darren Beck
Paula Radetzky
Paula W. Baird
Pavol Stekauer
Peter Menzel
Peter Sells
Phaedra Royle
Phil Chappell
Prisca Augustyn
Qing Zhang
Queen's University, Linguistics
Rachael Allbritten
Rachel Nordlinger
Ranchhod, University of Lisbon
Randall Gess
Randy Sharp
Raphael Berthele
Ray LaVerghetta
Rebecca Shields
Rene J. Valdes
Richard A. Winters
Richard Schrodt
Richard Steiner
Richard Whitt
Richard Wright
Rick Lavin
Robert Bayley
Robert L., Clara B. Trammell
Roberta Chase-Borgatti
Robin Hooper
Robin Shoaps
Rodrigo Gutiérrez-Bravo
Roland Noske
Roland Pfau
Ron Artstein
Ronald Schaefer
Roser Saurí Colomer
Sabine Geldof
Sandra W. Smith
Sara Meilijson
Sarah Cummins
Sarah Harmon
Saskia Daalder
Scott Schwenter
Sebastian Ross Hagebaum
Seran Dogancay Aktuna
Shin Ja Hwang, SIL/Graduate Institute of Applied Linguistics
Shlomo Izre'el
Shuki Cohen
Silvia Kouwenberg
Silvina Montrul
Simon Musgrave
simon smith
Simone Mueller
Sky Sang-Geun Lee
SNEDDON, James
Stacy Krainz
Stefan A. Frisch
Stefan Rijnhart
Steve Hartman Keiser
Steve Poteet
Steven Donahue Miami-Dade Community COllege
steven h. weinberger
Stuart Stewart
Sue Medeiros
Sun-Hee Lee
Susan Fiksdal
Susan G. Guion
Susanne Bartke
Susanne Gahl
Suying Hsiao
Suzette Haden Elgin
Sylvana Krausse
Tadhg '' hIfearnáin
Taka Shinya
Tamara Nicol
Tamra Wysocki
Tania Ionin
Tanja Collet --- University of Windsor
Tanya Ivanova
tim collett
Tobias Thelen
Toby Ayer
Tom Roeper
Tomislav Stojanov, Zagreb, Croatia
Ton van der Wouden
Toshihiro Sugawara
Tracey McHenry
Uli Reich
Umarani Pappuswamy
Umberto Ansaldo
Uri Horesh
Ute Smit
Vern M. Lindblad
Vernon L. Curts
Vic Ferreira, University of California, San Diego
Victoria Anderson
Victoria Vázquez Rozas
Vieri Samek-Lodovici
Vijayarani J. Fedson
Viktor Tron
Vincent De Rooij
Violetta Cavalli-Sforza
W. Keith Winkler
Weber Andrea
Will Fitzgerald
Wiltrud Mihatsch
WIM VANDENBUSSCHE, VRIJE UNIVERSITEIT BRUSSEL
Winifred Davies
Xose L. Regueira
Yuwen Lai
Z. Bond
Zaida A. Cintron
Zoe Toft, Wouter Jansen
Zsuzsanna Fagyal
- Plus 135 anonymous donors
******************************************************
MAJOR SUPPORTING PUBLISHERS
Blackwell Publishing
http://www.blackwellpublishing.com
Cambridge University Press
http://www.cup.org
Continuum International Publishing Group Ltd
http://www.continuumbooks.com
Elsevier Science Ltd.
http://www.elsevier.com/locate/linguistics
http://www.socscinet.com/linguistics
John Benjamins
http://www.benjamins.com/
http://www.benjamins.nl
Kluwer Academic Publishers
http://www.wkap.nl/
http://www.kluweronline.com
MIT Press
http://mitpress.mit.edu/
Mouton de Gruyter
http://www.degruyter.com
Oxford University Press
http://www.oup-usa.org/
Rodopi
http://www.rodopi.nl/
Routledge (Taylor and Francis)
http://www.routledge.com/
OTHER SUPPORTING PUBLISHERS
CSLI Publications
http://csli-publications.stanford.edu/
Cascadilla Press
http://www.cascadilla.com/
Evolution Publishing
http://www.evolpub.com
Graduate Linguistic Students' Assoc., Umass
http://server102.hypermart.net/glsa/index.htm
International Pragmatics Assoc.
http://ipra-www.uia.ac.be/ipra/
Linguistic Assoc. of Finland
http://www.ling.helsinki.fi/sky/
MIT Working Papers in Linguistics
http://web.mit.edu/mitwpl/
Multilingual Matters
http://www.multilingual-matters.com/
Pacific Linguistics
http://pacling.anu.edu.au/
Palgrave Macmillan
http://www.palgrave.com
Pearson Longman
http://www.pearsoneduc.com/catalog.html
SIL International
http://www.ethnologue.com/bookstore.asp
St. Jerome Publishing Ltd.
http://www.stjerome.co.uk/
Utrecht Institute of Linguistics
http://www-uilots.let.uu.nl/
******************************************************
INSTITUTIONS
American University of Sharjah
Bowne Global Solutions
Brigham Young University
Butler Hill Group
California State University, Dominguez Hills
City University of Hong Kong
Computer Science Innovations
Disetronic Medical Systems AG
Eastern Mediterranean University
Idilia Inc.
Indiana University
McGill University
National Tsing Hua University
Rhetorical Systems
Rochester Institute of Technology
Rutgers University
Scansoft Belgium
School of Oriental and African Studies
Seoul National University
Southern Illinois University Carbondale
Speechworks International Inc.
StreamSage
The University of Sheffield
The University of Texas at Arlington
University of Alberta
University of Amsterdam
University of Antwerp
University of Arizona
University of California, Santa Cruz
University of Edinburgh
University of Essex
University of Groningen
University of Helsinki
University of Kansas
University of Macau
University of Muenster, Germany
University of Ottawa
University of Puerto Rico
University of Rostock
University of South Florida
University of Tilburg
University of Tromso
University of Tromsø
Université du Québec en Outaouais
Université du Québec à Montréal
Uppsala University
Voice Futures
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