LL-L "Levity" 2005.08.05 (04) [E]

[Lowlands-L]

======================================================================
L O W L A N D S - L * 05.AUG.2005 (04) * ISSN 189-5582 * LCSN 96-4226
http://www.lowlands-l.net * lowlands-l at lowlands-l.net
Rules & Guidelines: http://www.lowlands-l.net/index.php?page=rules
Posting: lowlands-l at listserv.linguistlist.org or lowlands-l at lowlands-l.net
Commands ("signoff lowlands-l" etc.): listserv at listserv.net
Server Manual: http://www.lsoft.com/manuals/1.8c/userindex.html
Archives: http://listserv.linguistlist.org/archives/lowlands-l.html
Encoding: Unicode (UTF-8) [Please switch your view mode to it.]
=======================================================================
You have received this because you have been subscribed upon request.
To unsubscribe, please send the command "signoff lowlands-l" as message
text from the same account to listserv at listserv.linguistlist.org or
sign off at http://linguistlist.org/subscribing/sub-lowlands-l.html.
=======================================================================
A=Afrikaans Ap=Appalachian B=Brabantish D=Dutch E=English F=Frisian
L=Limburgish LS=Lowlands Saxon (Low German) N=Northumbrian
S=Scots Sh=Shetlandic V=(West) Flemish Z=Zeelandic (Zeêuws)
=======================================================================

From: Ingmar Roerdinkholder <ingmar.roerdinkholder at WORLDONLINE.NL>
Subject: LL-L "Language varieties" 2005.08.04 (01) [E]

A new kind of Missingsch? Ingmar

>Make sure you read this before your evening quota of wine..........

>Euro English

>The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
>English
>will be the official language of the European Union rather than
>German,
>which was the other possibility.

>As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
>English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year
>phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

>In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
>will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

>The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
>konfusion, and keyboards *kan* have one less letter.

>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
>troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
>like fotograf 20% shorter.

>In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling *kan* be
>expekted to
>reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

>Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
>always
>ben a deterent to akurate speling.

>Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
>languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

>By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
>"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

>During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
>kontaining
>"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

>Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
>understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

>Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted
>in ze
>forst plas.

>If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

----------

From: R. F. Hahn
Subject: Levity

Thanks, Ingmar, but this is as old as the hills, has been circulating for 
years and has been posted here at least twice.  It may be classified as 
anti-Europeanization satire with a distinct anti-German undercurrant.

Regards,
Reinhard/Ron

==============================END===================================
* Please submit postings to lowlands-l at listserv.linguistlist.org.
* Postings will be displayed unedited in digest form.
* Please display only the relevant parts of quotes in your replies.
* Commands for automated functions (including "signoff lowlands-l") are
  to be sent to listserv at listserv.linguistlist.org or at
  http://linguistlist.org/subscribing/sub-lowlands-l.html.
======================================================================