LL-L "Literature" 2007.08.01 (06) [E]

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L O W L A N D S - L  -  01 August 2007 - Volume 06

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From: Global Moose Translations <globalmoose at t-online.de>
Subject: LL-L "Resources" 2007.08.01 (04) [E]

Tom wrote:

Below I post a coupl of my new poems: three Haikus. Tell me what you think.

Come along with me
Adventure awaits us now
Beyond what we now see

Actually, I'd like this one better if you hadn't used the word "now" twice
in a row. Maybe there's a way you could rewrite the second line? I think
that would make the whole thing stronger.

Cheers,
Gabriele Kahn

•

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