LL-L 'Anecdotes' 2007.02.11 (02) [E/S]

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L O W L A N D S - L - 11 February 2007 - Volume 02

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From: Sandy Fleming <sandy at fleimin.demon.co.uk>
Subject: LL-L 'Anecdote' 2007.02.10 (02) [E]

More from Alexander Hislop's "The Book of Scottish Anecdote" (1888).

In answer to interests expressed towards the previous "instalment",
these are well out of copyright and I've no objection to anyone sending
them on to other interested parties or otherwise disseminating them. You
might want to check with Ron before copying stuff from the mailing list,
that's all.

A FRIENDLY CRITICISM

Old John Cameron was leader of a small quadrille band in Edinburgh, the
performances of which were certainly not the very finest. Being
disappointed on one occasion of an engagement at a particular ball, he
described his more fortunate but equally able brethren in the following
terms: "There's Geordie Menstrie, he plays ruch, like a man sherpin
knives wi yellow sand. Then there's Jamie Corn, his playin's like the
chappin o mince collops-sic short bows he taks. And then there's Donald
Munro, his bass is like wind i' the lum, or a tuim cart gaun down
Blackfriars' Wynd!"

ruch: rough
chappin: chopping
mince collops: minced beef bound together like small, thick hamburgers
lum: chimney
tuim: empty
wynd: a kind of street (usually sloped and with a high stone wall on one
or both sides, in my experience)

GETTING THE BEVERAGE

When a young girl gets any piece of new dress, she slily shows it to her
Jo, who gives her a kiss, which is taking the beverage of the article.
And when he gets anything, they kiss again, which is giving the
beverage. The bridegroom takes the beverage of his bride by kissing her
the instant the marriage ceremony is over; but if another person be so
nimble as to have the kiss before him, that person gets beverage.

jo: sweetheart (literally, "joy")

THE TAPPIT HEN

"Weel she loed a Hawick gill,
 And leuch to see a Tappit Hen."

The Tappit Hen contained three quarts of claret.

"I have seen ode of these formidable stoups at Provost Haswell's, at
Jedburgh, in the days of yore. It was a pewter measure, the claret being
in ancient days served from the tap, and had the figure of a hen upon
the lid. In later times, the name was given to a glass bottle of the
same dimension. These are rare apparitions among the degenerate topers
of modern days."~Sir Walter Scott.

weel: well
loed: [lu:d] loved
leuch: laughed
stoup: a large drinking vessel

A PAIR OF BULLS

Two operatives in one of the Border towns were heard disputing about a
new cemetery, beside the elegant railing of which they were standing.

One of them, evidently disliking the continental fashion in which it was
being laid out, said in disgust, "I'd raither dee than be buried in sic
a place!"

"Weel, it's the verra reverse wi me," said the other, "for I'll be
buried naewhere else, if I'm spared."

dee: die
sic: such
verra: very
naewhere: nowhere

THE SINCLAIRS AND FLODDEN

No gentleman of the name of Sinclair, either in Conisbay or throughout
Caithness, will put on green apparel or think of crossing the Ord upon a
Monday. They were dressed in green, and they crossed the Ord upon a
Monday, on their way to the battle of Flodden, where they fought and
fell in the service of their country, almost without leaving a
representative of the name behind them. The day and the dress are
accordingly regarded as inauspicious.-Statistical Account of Scotland.

PROVOST AND POLICEMAN

On Saturday last (May 1835), the then Lord Provost of Glasgow was seen,
near the Royal Exchange, talking to a man, who, from his outward
appearance, seemed to be a chimney sweeper. The Provost and the sweep
appeared to be deeply engaged on some interesting subject, and were seen
describing with the point of an old nail the inclinations and curvatures
of certain "vents" or flues which might be swept by means of the newly
invented machine which was to supersede the "climbing boys," as the
unlucky urchins who had to ascend the chimneys were called. A crowd very
soon collected round the Provost and the sweep, wondering, no doubt,
what the one had to do with the other. But so intent was his Lordship on
the subject under discussion, that he seemed to be quite unconscious of
any person being present save the man with whom he was talking, until a
policeman came forward, and in the true Celtic twang rudely ordered his
Lordship to "dismiss."

"What!" said the Provost, surprised, "do you know to whom you speak?"

"No, she'll did not," answered Donald, "neither did she'll care. Her
orders was not to let peoples stand upon ta plainstane causey, causing a
crowd, and if she wadna gang awa, she wad put ta offish upon her."

"Do you know that you are talking to the Lord Provost?" said a gentleman
present; "you ought to be more respectful to his Lordship."

'Let her pe ta Lord Provish," retorted the doughty preserver of the
peace, "or ta Lord Justice Peace Court hersel, she did not care one
pinch o snish, but if she will not dismiss, her order will pe tat ta put
ta offish upon her shust in a minute."

It is needless to say that the Provost good-naturedly yielded to a law
of his own sanctioning, and walked off, glad, no doubt, to find that the
police establishment was filled with such uncompromising and faithful
servants.

plainstane: flagstone
causey: pavement
offish: office
snish: snuff

THE PROBATIONER

Finding myself rather in a dwining state on the Friday, with the advice
of Mrs Balwhidder, who was counted very skilly in sic matters, and wi
the consent o the session, I determined to hire a probationer for the
Sunday, sae I sent in word to Baillie Watt, the wabster in Paisley, to
make sure of one for that day. Next day's carrier brought word that he
had gotten the only one that was not engaged; he wasna very first-rate,
he said, but I didna think much aboot that, as I wasna a very great hand
at the preaching mysel; but ye'll hear hoo it turnt oot.

The young birky cam according to appointment; he was rather little, and
had a happity leg; however, that wasna noticed when he got into the
poopit. He made ane or twa blunders in reading the psalms, but this
could be forgien in sic a young beginner; but in the prayer he gaed far
by the straucht, for in praying for twa lads to be hanged at Ayr, he
worded it in this manner: "We pray for the two unfortunate men under
sentence of death, the king and the minister of this parish," to the no
little amazement of the congregation. A bit farther on he prayed, "Lord,
darken our lightened imaginations." I was so angry at the chap that I
maist wished him to be taen at his word, in so far as regardit himsel;
but this wasna it a', for when the bit body cam into the vestry, he said
to me, fishing for a compliment, aiblins, "Ye wad notice I was a wee
hoarse the day." "Wee horse!" says I, hardly able to keep my temper;
"na, na, my man, I didna think ye was a wee horse, but I thocht ye was a
big ass!" The chiel was perfectly dumbfoondered, and Matthew Steenson,
the elder, remarkit, that it was the cleverest observe of mine he had
heard for mony a day; but frae that day to this I hae never meddlet wi'
a probationer again.

skilly: wise, knowledgeable
sic: such
wabster: weaver
hoo: how
poopit: pulpit
maist: most
taen: taken
bit body: little person
aiblins: perhaps
wee: little
a wee: slightly
chiel: man; boy

AN ACT FOR THE LADIES

The following item is extracted from an Act of the Scottish Parliament,
passed in the reign of Queen Margaret, about the year 1288: "It is
stated and ordainit that during the reine of hir maist blissit Magestie,
ilk maiden ladye of baith highe and lowe estait shall hae libertie to
bespeak ye man she likes; albeit, gif he refuses to tak hir till be his
wyf, he sall be mulctit in ye sume of ane hundredth pundis or less, as
his estait mai be, except and alwais gif he can mak it appear that he is
betrothit to ane ither woman, then he shall be free."

ilk: every

JEALOUSY BETWEEN EDINBURGH AND LEITH

In 1485, it was ordained, that no merchant of Edinburgh presume to take
into partnership an inhabitant of Leith, under a penalty of forty
shillings to the church, and of being deprived of his freedom of the
city for a year. And, as if this were not considered sufficient, it was
at the same time enacted, that none of the revenues of Edinburgh should
be let to an inhabitent of Leith, nor should any of the Edinburgh
farmers take an inhabitant of Leith as a partner, or even employ him as
a servant relative to that business.

SCOTTISH BY-NAMES

"And what's his name, pray?"

"Gabriel"

"But Gabriel what?"

"Oh, Lord kens that; we dinna mind folk's after-names muckle here, they
run sae muckle into clans."

"Ye see, sir," said an old shepherd, rising, and speaking very slow,
"the folks hereabout are a' Armstrongs and Elliots and siclike-twa or
three given names-and so, for distinction's sake, the lairds and farmers
have the names of their places that they live at-as for example, Tam o
Todshaw, Will o the Flat, Hobbie o Sorbietrees, and our good master
here, o the Charlieshope.-Aweel, sir, and then the inferior sort o
people, ye'll observe, are kend by sorts o by-names, some o them, as
Glaiket Christie, and the Deuke's Davie, or maybe, like this lad
Gabriel, by his employment; as, for example, Tod Gabbie, or Hunter
Gabbie. He's no been lang here, sir, and I dinna think anybody kens him
by ony ither name"

kens: knows
muckle: much
kend: known
glaikit: lanky, gangling and clumsy

JANET ALLAN

1788, January 1.-Died at Kilmarnock, in her 105th year, Janet Allan,
being born on that day John Nisbet suffered death at the cross of
Kilmarnock, in the reign of Charles II. About four years ago her sight
returned in a great measure, after it was long dimmed by reason of age.
She went to kirk and market within a few days of her death, and retained
her senses to the last. -Scots Magazine.

THE LEAD BRASH

Fowls of any kind will not live many days at Leadhills. They pick up
arsenical particles with their food, which soon kills them. Horses,
cows, dogs, cats, are liable to the lead brash. A cat, when seized with
that distemper, springs like lightning through every corner of the
house, falls into convulsions, and dies. A dog falls into strong
convulsions also, but occasionally recovers. A cow grows perfectly mad
in an instant, and must be immediately killed. Fortunately this
distemper does not affect the human species.-Statistical Account of
Scotland.

LAMMER-WINE

This imaginary liquor (Amber wine) was esteemed a sort of elixir of
immortality, and its virtues are celebrated in the following infallible
recipe:

Drink ae cowp o the lammer-wine,
   An the tear is nae mair in your ee;
An drink twae cowps o' the lammer-wine,
   Nae dule nor pine ye'll dree.

An drink three cowps o the lammer-wine,
   Your mortal life's awa.
An drink fowr cowps o' the lammerwine,
   Ye'll turn a fairy sma'.

An drink five cowps o the lammer-wine,
   O joys ye've rowth an wale.
An drink sax cowps o the lammer-wine,
   Ye'll ring ower hill and dale.

An drink seeven cowps o the lammer-wine,
   Ye may dance on the milky way.
An drink aucht cowps o the lammer-wine,
   Ye may ride on the fire-flaught blae.

An drink nine cowps o the lammer-wine,
   Your end-day ye'll never see;
An the nicht is gane, an the day has come
   Will never set to thee.

LIP AND LEGGIN.

To Lip and Leggin, is a phrase used in Fifeshire relating to drink in a
cup or ves~el. The person to whom the drink is offered holds the vessel
obliquely, so as to try whether the liquid it contains will at the same
time touch the "leggin," or angle at the bottom, and reach the "lip' or
rim. If it does not, he refuses to receive it, saying, "There's no a
drink there; it'll no lip and leggin."

no: not

Sandy Fleming
http://scotstext.org/

----------

From: R. F. Hahn <sassisch at yahoo.com>
Subject: Anecdotes

Sandy, Lowlanders,

Anything posted here is generally accessible and may be quoted and passed on
as long as the authors and LL-L are credited.

Regards,
Reinhard/Ron

•

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