LL-L "Levity" 2008.01.04 (04) [E]
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L O W L A N D S - L - 04 January 2008 - Volume 04
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From: Tom Mc Rae <t.mcrae at uq.net.au>
Subject: Scottish Cityizenship Test...Would YOU Pass ?
SCOTTISH CITIZENSHIP TEST
Australia now requires all would be citizens to take a citizenship test to
ascertain their knowledge of our history, culture, geography, and sport
using multiple choice questions. With plans afoot for total Independence this
may serve as the basis for a similar test in Scotland.
Questions are not multiple choice and topics are mixed. Answers are given
below.
10 points each answer double for questions 1 & 15. Penalties for major
errors. Minimum points to qualify 200.
1. What happened in 1707 ? Where was the Treaty signed.
2. Translate "Charlie came hame steamin'"
3. What is ginguhr ?
4. Name three major Scottish types.
5. Who are "Ra Peepuhl" ?
6. How do Scottish chip shops differ from those in England ?
7. What is the Hamden Roar ?
8. What do you do if somebody yells "SHOAT !!" ?
9. What is lumunade ?
10. Name three major Scottish types.
11. Would you ask for a whisky in a Scottish pub ?
12. What nationality was Bonnie Prince Charlie ?
13. What is the generic name for all Scottish males ?
14. English draught beers are either Mild or Bitter what are the two types
in Scotland ?
15. Who sang "Ah Belong Tae Glesca", Did he really ? (Double points if both
answers given).
16. During a singsong in a Scottish pub would you stand up and sing "The
Sash" ?
17. What is a Wee Heavy ?
18. What armies fought at Culloden in 1746 ?
19. Who wrote "Auld Lang Syne" ?
20. Name the two Edinburgh fitbaw teams.
21. What is a Jake a Loo ?
22. What is Stairheid Dynamite ?
23 Where is the Scottish Parliament Building ?
24. Where is St Giles Cathedral ?
25. What is The Canongate named after ?
Would you pass the test ?
ANSWERS.
1. Union of the Parliaments signed in a summer house within Moray House in
Edinburgh's Canongate.
2. Charles returned home totally drunk.
3. Generic name for any soft drink, more commonly in the Glasgow area.
4. Irn Bru; Tiser, and Vimto. (3 points each for first two an d4 for Vimto)
NB Claims that a scotch terrier found hiding in a crate of the latter
caused the shop keeper
to ask "An' whoat's that dug daein' in ra Vimto" Gave rise to a song
about a pooch in a
window should be regarded suspiciously.
5. Supporters of Celtic football team in Glasgow.
6. English shop sell several varieties of fish with chips. Scottish shops
sell any fish you want so long as it's haddock and an array of deep fried
items ranging from meat pies to Mars bars.
7. The yell of the crowd of supporters at a Rangers football game.
8. This is the cry of the lookout during nefarious activities best to run
for it.
9. Generic name for any soft drink, more commonly in the Edinburgh area.
10. Irn Bru; Tiser, and Vimto. (3 points each for first two and 4 for Vimto:
11. Not if you want to be taken for a Scot. Pubs have a huge range of brands
of whisky and
a True Scot orders by name.
12. He was born in Italy, his sole link with Scotland being his ancestry.
If you answered Scottish deduct 25 points.
13. Jimmy.
14. Light and Heavy.
15. Sir Harry Lauder. No he came from Edinburgh's Portobello.
16. Only if you have a death wish, this is guaranteed to start a brawl.
17. One third of a pint of liquid dynamite more commonly known as Strong
Ale. A dark brew
that makes you steamin'.
18. The rebel Jacobites and Loyalist Hanoverian government army. If you
answered
Scots and English deduct 50 points.
19. Robert Burns of course.
20. Heart of Midlothian and Hibernian.
21. One who appreciates the benefits of drinking methylated spirits.
22. A drink for advanced Jakes a Loo now obsolete with gas lighting in
tenement stairways
being replaced by electricity. The cocktail was made as follows...
a. Buy a large bottle of lemonade or ginguhr.
b. Pour off half.
c, Add a medicine bottle of methylated spirit and the supernatant fluid from
a can of Brasso
poured into a jar and left to stand for a few hours.
d. Find a tenement stair with a working gas mantle. Turn off gas, poke out
mantle and bubble
gas through cocktail mixture. Replace screw cap, shake well, and retire
to nearest park to
enjoy. NB Finding a working gas mantle in areas where the Jakes a Loo
prevailed could be
difficult.
Take a 25 points bonus if you got this one right but deduct 200 if you
are a regular user.
23. Bottom of the Canongate near Palace.
24. Nowhere ! Presbyterians have no cathedrals. Name's a misnomer.
25. Originally a walkway for priests and monks from Holyrood Abbey.
Regards
Tom Mc Rae
Brisbane Australia
Oh Wad Some Power the Giftie Gie Us
Tae See Oorsel's as Ithers See Us
Robert Burns
•
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