Two passages from Platonov's HAPPY MOSCOW

[Penelope Burt]

Not very delicate perhaps:
"Night's still up [like a person might still be up late at night] and soon the dew will be lying down."
On Nov 10, 2011, at 11:57 AM, Sentinel76 Astrakhan wrote:

> I wouldn't double the "still."  Instead, I'd make it the sentence as succinct as possible:
> 
> "It's still night and soon will be dew."
> 
> In fact, translating Platonov, I'd do to English what he did to Russian. :)
> 
> 
> 
> 
>> Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2011 10:44:45 -0500
>> From: aisrael at AMERICAN.EDU
>> Subject: Re: [SEELANGS] Two passages from Platonov's HAPPY MOSCOW
>> To: SEELANGS at bama.ua.edu
>> 
>> By adding words:
>> 
>> "The night still stands still and soon the dew will be lying on the 
>> ground"
>> 
>> 
>> On Nov 10, 2011, at 9:51 AM, Robert Chandler wrote:
>> 
>>> Dear all,
>>> 
>>> We are revising our earlier (Harvill) translation for publication 
>>> next year by NYRB CLassics.
>>> 
>>> 1. At the beginning of chapter 7, Sartorius and Moscow Chestnova 
>>> catch a late tram to the outskirts of Moscow. after getting off the 
>>> tram, and not long before they lie down and make love, Sarorius says:
>>> 
>>> -- Товарищ Сарториус, что мы будем 
>>> теперь делать? -- спросила Москва. -- 
>>> Ведь ночь еще стоит и скоро ляжет 
>>> роса...
>>> 
>>> “Comrade Sartorius, what are we going to do now?” asked Moscow. 
>>> “It’s still night, soon there’ll be dew on the 
>>> ground.” (Harvill ed.)
>>> 
>>> “Comrade Sartorius, what are we going to do now?” asked Moscow. 
>>> “It’s still night, soon dew will be lying on the 
>>> ground.” (revised)
>>> 
>>> The play between 'stoit' and 'lyazhet' is, in the original, achieved 
>>> with great delicacy. Any ideas as to how we might reproduce this?
>>> 
>>> *
>>> 
>>> 2. (A few lines later) Под утро Москва и 
>>> Сарториус сели в землемерную яму,
>>> обросшую теплым буьяном, 
>>> спрятавшемся здесь от культурных 
>>> полей, как кулак на хуторе.
>>> 
>>> What is this zemlemernaya yama??? It seems to be an extremely 
>>> uncommon phrase, probably Platonov's own. Though it does possibly 
>>> evoke its opposite: землемерная вышка.
>>> 
>>> This sentence has to some degree been anticipated a few pages 
>>> earlier, in the following: Sartorius smiled bleakly; he would have 
>>> liked to remain now in the very lowest place of the earth, or even 
>>> to find himself a place in an empty grave and, inseparably from 
>>> Moscow Chestnova, live out his life there until death.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> All the best,
>>> 
>>> Robert
>>> 
>>> Robert Chandler, 42 Milson Road, London, W14 OLD
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
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>> 
>> Alina Israeli
>> Associate Professor of Russian
>> LFS, American University
>> 4400 Massachusetts Ave.
>> Washington DC 20016
>> (202) 885-2387 fax (202) 885-1076
>> aisrael at american.edu
>> 
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Penelope Burt
2151 California St NW, Apt 304
Washington DC 20008
phone: 202 332 4675
email: burt2151 at comcast.net

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