Hospital slang

Gareth Branwyn garethb2 at EARTHLINK.NET
Fri Nov 26 21:42:58 UTC 1999

The following was sent to me by a chief surgical resident of a Manhattan hospital:

boxed: v died rapidly "that jumper boxed up a storm"

bagged: v to shoot someone in the lower abdomen in order to cause an injury requiring a colostomy, reportedly an L.A. usage

malkarmagenize: v to create bad karma; "he malkarmagenized us by wishing us an easy night on call, now all hell's going to break loose -that malkarmagenizer!"

bus: n ambulance "that guy barfed (bled, defecated, exploded) all over the bus"

shake and bake: adj to have a high fever, alt. early alcohol withdrawal

suck-cut: n from Wayne's World, liposuction

carriage trade: n having practice restricted to wealthy patients

chits: n short for chitlins, small intestines "that guy had his chits hanging out!"

code master: n one who excels at bringing people back from cardiac arrest

trauma mama: n female chief resident who excels at trauma surgery

lock in: adj refers ICU on-call where the resident cannot leave the ICU

medatrons: n residents in the department of medicine, friendly confreres of surgeons

turf: v to transfer the patient to another service (usually the department of medicine)

placement: n disposition of the patient, often very difficult in the case of the homeless, unethically solved with a turf

HMO+: adj state of being covered by a bad health maintenance organization and likely to suffer because of it, like being HIV+.

flamethrower: n Bovie electrocautery, a device that coagulates blood and tissue with alternating electrical current

extra crispy: adj highest setting on electrocautery (electric scalpel)

stun: adj lightest effective setting on the electrocautery "set the Bovie on stun."

FMG's: n foreign medical graduates, needed to fill vacant residency positions not filled by US graduates

circle jerk: n attendings calling on unnecessary consultations from friends in other specialties when the diagnosis is clear; alt usage, calling numerous consults for medicolegal reasons

W.O.F.F.: abbr will operate for food, surgical resident's status in life

Tubes and Fingers in Every Hole: phr essential part of trauma resuscitation

Surgical Nutrition Rounds: n lunch or dinner, usually announced over PA

troll: n intern

punt: v delay, "Let's punt, get a medicine consult."; alt a synonym for turf

WHMO: n HMO on-hold music on speakerphone for the enjoyment of the ward

Preparation-H: adj state of having attended Harvard college, medical school, and residency at a Harvard-affiliated hospital, used by people in Boston or by people who hate Boston, ie just about everyone

Cipro slut, Fluconazole floozy, Bristol-Mayer babe, etc: n mini-skirt clad female drug company representative

doing my job: v lying to HMO's about the severity of a patient's condition to get a medically indicated procedure, medication, or test approved

New York thing: n a condition particular to New York where doctors (and sometimes patients, sadly) have to beg and plead to non-medical hospital staff to get things done; "I had to grovel to housekeeping to get that patient's vomit mopped up... it's a New York thing."; there is also a Boston thing. 

Hillaried: adj rhymes with pilloried, when something popular and sensible is made unpalatable by the personage championing it

bisque: n pus that looks (and smells) like bisque, var salmon bisque, lobster bisque

chowder: n thick creamy pus that looks like chowder because it's chunky

minestrone: n chunky, more liquified reddish pus that looks like minestrone

seize: v from seizure, literally having a seizure, feel exhilaration and elation, "Haag seized when he found out we were letting him have this weekend off."

W.S. Michael Park, MD
Chief Resident
Dept of Surgery
in some hospital in Manhattan

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