garethb2 at EARTHLINK.NET
Fri Nov 26 21:42:58 UTC 1999
The following was sent to me by a chief surgical resident of a Manhattan hospital:
boxed: v died rapidly "that jumper boxed up a storm"
bagged: v to shoot someone in the lower abdomen in order to cause an injury requiring a colostomy, reportedly an L.A. usage
malkarmagenize: v to create bad karma; "he malkarmagenized us by wishing us an easy night on call, now all hell's going to break loose -that malkarmagenizer!"
bus: n ambulance "that guy barfed (bled, defecated, exploded) all over the bus"
shake and bake: adj to have a high fever, alt. early alcohol withdrawal
suck-cut: n from Wayne's World, liposuction
carriage trade: n having practice restricted to wealthy patients
chits: n short for chitlins, small intestines "that guy had his chits hanging out!"
code master: n one who excels at bringing people back from cardiac arrest
trauma mama: n female chief resident who excels at trauma surgery
lock in: adj refers ICU on-call where the resident cannot leave the ICU
medatrons: n residents in the department of medicine, friendly confreres of surgeons
turf: v to transfer the patient to another service (usually the department of medicine)
placement: n disposition of the patient, often very difficult in the case of the homeless, unethically solved with a turf
HMO+: adj state of being covered by a bad health maintenance organization and likely to suffer because of it, like being HIV+.
flamethrower: n Bovie electrocautery, a device that coagulates blood and tissue with alternating electrical current
extra crispy: adj highest setting on electrocautery (electric scalpel)
stun: adj lightest effective setting on the electrocautery "set the Bovie on stun."
FMG's: n foreign medical graduates, needed to fill vacant residency positions not filled by US graduates
circle jerk: n attendings calling on unnecessary consultations from friends in other specialties when the diagnosis is clear; alt usage, calling numerous consults for medicolegal reasons
W.O.F.F.: abbr will operate for food, surgical resident's status in life
Tubes and Fingers in Every Hole: phr essential part of trauma resuscitation
Surgical Nutrition Rounds: n lunch or dinner, usually announced over PA
troll: n intern
punt: v delay, "Let's punt, get a medicine consult."; alt a synonym for turf
WHMO: n HMO on-hold music on speakerphone for the enjoyment of the ward
Preparation-H: adj state of having attended Harvard college, medical school, and residency at a Harvard-affiliated hospital, used by people in Boston or by people who hate Boston, ie just about everyone
Cipro slut, Fluconazole floozy, Bristol-Mayer babe, etc: n mini-skirt clad female drug company representative
doing my job: v lying to HMO's about the severity of a patient's condition to get a medically indicated procedure, medication, or test approved
New York thing: n a condition particular to New York where doctors (and sometimes patients, sadly) have to beg and plead to non-medical hospital staff to get things done; "I had to grovel to housekeeping to get that patient's vomit mopped up... it's a New York thing."; there is also a Boston thing.
Hillaried: adj rhymes with pilloried, when something popular and sensible is made unpalatable by the personage championing it
bisque: n pus that looks (and smells) like bisque, var salmon bisque, lobster bisque
chowder: n thick creamy pus that looks like chowder because it's chunky
minestrone: n chunky, more liquified reddish pus that looks like minestrone
seize: v from seizure, literally having a seizure, feel exhilaration and elation, "Haag seized when he found out we were letting him have this weekend off."
W.S. Michael Park, MD
Dept of Surgery
in some hospital in Manhattan
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