Good job! (was Dweeb (1964))

[Larissa H. Chen]

Apologies for jumping in quite late on this one (I'm this far behind in
reading posts as well).  In case anyone is interested in the topic, the
tides appear to have turned.  There was an an article in the June issue
of Parenting Magazine, a very mainstream publication on child care and
whatnot, about the use of the phrase "good job".

A post from an Attachment Parenting list:

"I actually enjoyed this article because it discusses common statements parents
tend to say out of frustration or habit, often because they were said to us as
children - and why we should try to avoid them. For example: "Don't cry" and
the classic, "Good Girl/Good Boy" praise. The article briefly touches upon why
non-specific praise and over use of praise can be more damaging than helpful to
a child's self-esteem. Some of you may recall the parenting/teaching trend that
started in the 70's and 80's regarding the use of praise. However, the current
thinking is that it is healthier for children to want to do things resulting in
an internal sense of pleasure and satisfaction, rather than out of guilt or
desire to please another."

Here is an interesting article on the use of the phrase as well:
http://houseofstrauss.co.uk/modules/wfsection/article.php?articleid=308&com_id=10&com_rootid=10&com_mode=thread&#comment10

Larissa

You said....
++
++On 8/3/2004 9:06 PM Tom Kysilko wrote:
++
++> Perhaps this had been going on for a while, and as new parents we became
++> suddenly atuned to what people were saying to their children.  But it sure
++> felt as if some child-rearing (excuse me, parenting) guru had proclaimed,
++> "Thou shalt praise thy children with the words, 'Good job!'"  Does anyone
++> know if there's any justification for this feeling?
++
++I recall being informed by my wife that "Good girl!" (I have daughters,
++now in college) praises the person while "Good job!" praises the
++action--the idea is to separate the value of the person from the results
++of the effort, thereby preventing failure from undermining self esteem.
++
++No way she made that up. It must have been floating around in the mid '80s.
++
++Steve Clason