Daddies and mummies

Fri May 2 14:05:47 UTC 2008

I was actually struck not just by her enactment of abuse, because hitting a doll and calling it stupid is something that can be "spun" as being about the doll, or whatever.  What bothered me so much was the type of language she was using, the violence of it, in connection with everything else.  I'm not saying that *alone* bothered me, but that's a good part of what pushed it from being powerful to unethical.  But it might also be a matter of translation (tho' I can't imagine it is), and since I don't know Spanish well enough, I'm open to hearing a different interpretation of the language she was using.
As for the message itself, it is old to some, but woefully underexpressed in our culture.  I know someone who was abused for her whole childhood in this type of way (both as abused and daughter of abused mother), and her feeling (and mine, now that I've seen both sides) is that we don't see enough of the reality of abuse.  We see people after they've "healed", when they look like nice, well-put-together, and peaceful.  We hear about abuse, usually in euphemistic terms, and it allows us to choose whether or not to 
see what it really looks like, or to see it at all.  We can choose whether we want to talk about it intellectually or cry because it hits home.  This film, on the other hand, while it crosses a line, puts the reality out there, unvarnished, no makeup, the real deal, and gives us no choice.
Sarah

----- Original Message ----
From: Amy Sheldon <asheldon at UMN.EDU>
To: GALA-L at LISTSERV.LINGUISTLIST.ORG
Sent: Thursday, May 1, 2008 9:52:17 PM
Subject: Re: [GALA-L] Daddies and mummies

I thought about the consequences to the young girl too and found it very troubling. The possible damage to the child actor became a preoccupation in my reaction to the film.
Is that preoccupation the effect the film maker was after?  I doubt it.

It seems that there's a means justifies the end mentality in the film that makes the possible harm to the child *actor* become an issue, when it should not be.

What is the artistry of this film?  It re-enacts real life in a *raw* way. Is there no way to give the message about the conscription of onlookers to violence to become violent themselves? Who is the audience...children?  battered women/persons?   It's not a new message either.

So I think there's a side story here about the wisdom or aesthetics of film maker's over use of audience shock treatment to make the point.
Would the next step be to have the battering become a real event we all are asked to watch for the redeeming value of realizing battering is bad?  

Should horrible events be told about in an aesthetic frame?  This is a discussion that has taken place wrt if and how to contextualize and treat the Holocaust (and other horrific events) in an artistic frame,  so that they can be understood and not forgotten. 
Amy Sheldon

On May 1, 2008, at 8:36 PM, Valentina Pagliai wrote:

Well,The girl seemed to be having a lot of fun at it. And I suppose I would prefer an awareness of the existence of family violence to a girl misleaded into believing that certain things don't exist (until it happens to them). I feel that it is really cultural, for lack of a better word, the American (but not all Americans) tendency to hide stuff from children. Personally, I feel it is better to make children aware as soon as possible of sexism and oppression, so they can learn to defend themselves.
That's my two cents.

Valentina Pagliai
Oberlin College

On May 1, 2008, at 9:04 PM, Campbell, Heather wrote:

I must say, I agree with your concerns. Powerful film, but as an early childhood educator, I am extremely conflicted about this. There was a duty of care towards the wellbeing of the young child acting in this film, and I wonder if the possible benefits deriving from the film (that is, raising awareness of domestic violence and its effect upon children) justify the potential harm inflicted upon the child involved.

Heather Campbell

From:International Gender and Language Association [mailto:GALA-L at LISTSERV.LINGUISTLIST.ORG] On Behalf Of Sarah Wagner
Sent: Friday, 2 May 2008 9:45 AM
To: GALA-L at LISTSERV.LINGUISTLIST.ORG
Subject: Re: [GALA-L] Daddies and mummies

All I can think is, what about this young "actor" who is doing this?  What is she thinking as she says all of these horrible things?  You can't, even in an acting context, make this sound like "pretend" can you?  It's an incredible film, unbelievable (and incredibly important message of course), but I'm so conflicted about the reality of making it.
----- Original Message ----
From: Megan Crowhurst <mcrowhurst at MAIL.UTEXAS.EDU>
To: GALA-L at LISTSERV.LINGUISTLIST.ORG
Sent: Thursday, May 1, 2008 4:09:43 PM
Subject: Re: [GALA-L] Daddies and mummies

Well, there's a frighteningly powerful message 
about how kids internalize and learn to reproduce 
domestic partner abuse.  I'm forwarding this to 
our SafePlace volunteer co-ordinator...

At 10:25 PM +0200 5/1/08, Goretty Robles Fernández wrote:
>I'm speechless.
>http://www.metacafe.com/watch/336489/papas_y_mamas_daddies_mummies/

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