LL-L: "Humour" [E/Ap] LOWLANDS-L, 31.AUG.1999 (01)

[Sandy Fleming]

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 L O W L A N D S - L * 31.AUG.1999 (01) * ISSN 1089-5582 * LCSN 96-4226
 Posting Address: <lowlands-l at listserv.linguistlist.org>
 Web Site: <http://www.geocities.com/~sassisch/rhahn/lowlands/>
 User's Manual: <http://www.lsoft.com/manuals/1.8c/userindex.html>
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 A=Afrikaans, Ap=Appalachean, D=Dutch, E=English, F=Frisian, L=Limburgish
 LS=Low Saxon (Low German), S=Scots, Sh=Shetlandic
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From: Lee [glent at troi.csw.net]
Subject: "Humour"

Rachel Luckman posted 'Technology for North-Easterners' and I thought it was
funny--you guys know I dig crazy humor.  Her posting reminded me of one that
I had for hillbillies (Richard, don't be angry with me, remember I'm a
hilllbille/Scot as well!!), here it is:

 «:*´`³¤³´`*:»«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«:*´`³¤³´`*:

 Technology for Country Folk ...

 LOG ON: Makin' tha wood stove hotter.

 LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.

 MONITOR: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove

 DOWNLOAD: Gittin' the farwood off en' the truk

 MEGA HERTZ:  When yer not kerful gittin' the farwood off en' the truk

 FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin' to carry too much farwood

 RAM: That thar thing whut splilts the farwood

 HARD DRIVE: Gittin' home in  winter time

 PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in winter time

 WINDOWS: Whut to shut wen it's cold outside

 SCREEN: Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season

 BYTE: Whut em' dang flys do!

 MEGA BYTES:  Whut happens when you don't shut the darn screen

 CHIP: Munchies fer the TV

 MICRO CHIP: Whut's left in the bottom of the munchie bag

 MODEM: Whut cha did to dem hay fields.

 DOT MATRIX: Old Dan matrix's wife

 LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps

 KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang keys

 SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs

 MOUSE: Whut eats the grain in de barn and da kitty chases

 MOUSE PAD:     ats  hippy talk fer the rat hole

 MAINFRAME: Whut holds up the barn roof

 PORT: ats' fancy Flatlander wine

 ENTER: Yankee' talk for "Ya'll c'mon in!

 RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer the new
 rifle when youre wife ask ya!

 «:*´`³¤³´`*:»«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«:*´`³¤³´`*:»«:*´`³¤³´`*:

>Have a great week Lowlanders!
>
>Dubhglas o' Schweissguth  (Doug)
>
>'That's dithpiccable'--Daffy Duck
>

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