LL-L "Delectables" 2004.12.14 (04) [E]

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From: Críostóir Ó Ciardha <paada_please at yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: LL-L "Delectables" 2004.12.13 (08) [E]


Ron wrote:
"My wife calls them "superfluous calorie bombs." Unwilling to serve them to
hapless guests who would feel obligated to eat at least some of it for show,
I regularly take them to work where they are gobbled up in the span of an
hour. So there *are* still people who eat them. But then again, they are the
same people that would eat bread crusts or cold, greasy Brussel sprouts if I
put them there."

You may not be surprised to hear that I consider bread crusts the best bit
(on whole grain bread, the blacker the better), and do not consider a roast
a roast unless it has meat, potatoes, gravy, roast stuffing, mashed swede
and carrot, and yes, even those brussel sprouts that every one abhors!
(Although they must be submerged in the gravy.) Don't get me started on the
unhealthy pleasures of crackling (roasted salted pork fat and skin) or fried
breakfasts.

Before anyone insinuates, I weigh eleven stone, am six foot five inches tall
and thin as rake.

Go raibh maith agat,

Criostóir.

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From: Ruth & Mark Dreyer <mrdreyer at lantic.net>
Subject: LL-L "Delectables" 2004.12.13 (08) [E]

To whom it may concern:

Subject: LL-L "Delectables" 2004.12.13 (03) [E]

Hi there!

My mother, following in her mother & grandmother's tradition, used to make
Christmas fruitcakes. The actual instrument was a pressure cooker of deadly
repute, which looked like a pre-Victorian hospital autoclave & very likely
was based on the same. Everybody was chased out of the kitchen & the door
was locked while it did its work. One recipe was light & easy eating: Truth
to tell, far more manageable in our antipodean climate, & you only fed it a
bottle of sherry. The other now... for the Terry Pratchett fans, it was the
moral equivalent of dwarf bread, rich & dark, 'like the Aga Khan' (The Cruel
Sea - N. Monserrat). It could imbibe four bottles of Klipdrif brandy without
slumping.

Now this was in the bad old days, when my younger brother was finishing his
year of military service on the 'Border', and to console him, & keep him
company on this Christmas so far from home, Ma made for him & his buddies a
Dark One, gave it a bottle of brandy, laagered it on a quiet pantry shelf
for three months, & fed it five more bottles of Klipdrif before helping it,
mumbling & lurching into the parcel, which she then posted to Kleinboet on
the border.

Post was not of the best, & seldom kept up with the infantryman's movements,
alas, & anyhow, for a Christmas present they flew his unit home on the 20th
of December. Eventually, in June, the cake came back, in a parcel labelled
'Return to Unit', 'Honourable Discharge' & Return to Sender'. The cake
lurked sullenly in a corner of its box, but was otherwise unchanged. She
gave it another bottle of brandy to cheer it up, & put it back in it's place
for Christmas.

Then the predictable happened. Kid Brother's Commando was called up for a
tour of duty over December, so that the National Servicemen could spend
Christmas at home. The cake had another three bottles & went hiccoughing out
again, missed its addressee again, & returned again in April. 'Nother
bottle, & shelved again.

It had another two bottles, but that following Christmas it was good!
The pressure cooker? My father had enough of the infernal engine & converted
into a pot still for his likker; which is also good stuff but doesn't
explode; only burns with a lambent blue flame.

Yours & Gesieënde Kersfees All Round,
Mark.

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From: R. F. Hahn <sassisch at yahoo.com>
Subject: Delectables

Críostóir:

> You may not be surprised to hear that I consider bread crusts the best bit

I can't say that I do.  In truth, I do too.  I was using that example
because I was reminded of a cartoon we have hanging in the kitchen at work:
two guys "tucking in," with the quote "Mmmm! Bread crusts!" and a caption
saying something about free food being shared at work.

> even those brussel sprouts that every one abhors!

I actually love them and all other cruciferous vegetables (except "moon
cabbage" or "broccoflower," a cross between cauliflower and broccoli), but
only hot.

>  Before anyone insinuates, I weigh eleven stone, am six foot five inches
tall and
>  thin as rake.

My goodness!  I hope it lasts.  But have your colesterol checked anyway.

Mark, thanks for the literary treat!  Have you considered publishing short
stories?

Happy Holidays to you, too!

Reinhard/Ron

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