LL-L "Language proficiency" 2004.05.20 (06) [E]

[Lowlands-L]

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L O W L A N D S - L * 20.MAY.2004 (06) * ISSN 189-5582 * LCSN 96-4226
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A=Afrikaans Ap=Appalachian B=Brabantish D=Dutch E=English F=Frisian
L=Limburgish LS=Lowlands Saxon (Low German) N=Northumbrian
S=Scots Sh=Shetlandic V=(West)Flemish Z=Zeelandic (Zeêuws)
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> > > ---read, "Caution: Heavy plant crossing."
>
> > >     I can just see one of those huge Douglas Firs wading down through
> the
> > > shadows and mists to the water to drink---.
>
> > OK, so what does the sign mean?
>
> I don't know!

My guess is that they mean "heavy plant traffic", as in "there is a factory
nearby, so expect trucks and other large vehicles entering the road". :-)

Here's a hilarious collection of "English" signs found in Japan... enjoy.
http://www.engrish.com/category_index.php?category=Signs/Posters

Gabriele Kahn

----------

From: R. F. Hahn <sassisch at yahoo.com>
Subject: Language proficiency


Folks,

Gabriele's contribution above leads us over from the topic of "Signs" to
that of language proficiency, or rather the deficiency thereof.  Of course,
we all make mistakes, especially in languages we acquire after our early
childhood.  I am usually not in the habit of making fun of that, certainly
not if it occurs in private or semi-private communication (which included
our exchanges).  After all, people in glass houses should not be throwing
stones.  (So, please, no one here should start feeling self-conscious, and
remember that none of this is supposed to be ridiculing ethnicities or
nations.)

However, it's a totally different story when it comes to really, really poor
foreign language proficiency dominating publications, supposedly serious
publications and signs.  After all, in such cases, if you are not sure about
your proficiency, you ought to turn to an expert, and not just to someone
else you suspect of having somewhat better proficiency than your own.
Furthermore, would you not expect the publisher to send this through an
editor before it goes to print?  In such cases I do allow myself a giggle or
two, or even the occasional hoot.  Mind you, not all people allow themselves
to laugh about such things, I found, especially here in the States where
some folks think it is politically incorrect.

To me the so far funniest collection of translation boo-boos is a small
booklet I picked up in Indonesia in 1982, at that time the latest in a
series of collections of wise sayings (_Kata-kata mutiara ..._
'Treasure-trove of Sayings ...') compiled in Indonesian and translated into
English by different collectors. This one happened to have the worst English
translations, some of them originally English sayings that had been
translated into Indonesian earlier; the compiler didn't even bother to go
back to the original but translated it again ...  In translating he must
have used a bad dictionary (one without context marking) and picked out any
which gloss he fancied, irrespective of context and word class.  The many
typing errors don't exactly help matters, nor does the artwork, which defies
description.  This is so bad that I won't give the volume number and the com
piler's name here.  I remember an English friend and me whiling away a
scorching hot night in Cirebon, Java, sitting on a porch reading the
translations to each other, trying not to wake up everyone in town with our
laughter.  The sad thing about it is that at the time we saw many
Indonesians read it.  I carefully asked one of them, my seat neighbor on a
bus, about it, and he told me he was learning English from it, because he
couldn't afford actual textbooks  ...  :-(

Please find a few "high"-lights below.  Even if one doesn't refer to the
Indonesian originals (which I am not providing here) one can sometimes
figure things out and even recognize certain lexical substitution patterns,
such as "animated" instead of "soul."

Enjoy!

Reinhard/Ron

P.S.: Hopefully this will cause you to be more forgiving when I dabble in
Afrikaans, Dutch, Frisian, Plautdietsch and Scots.  :-)

***

"Love is gold, give is mean accept and the man who will let it loose would
have his own self."

"Love for the island is the beautiful opinion that can glorify the
animated."

"Love like a war."

"Love like the moon, if don't become big it would become small."

"Love is the base of marriage and marriage is the love's gun."

"Love likes the fire. It can't be made a fool, if it be made a foo, it would
burn your own."

"Love is a big fire, and longing is the stub."

"Love is the contact of the interest point with the heart peace."

"Love based by the glorious duty with wild still growth altought the beauty
has changed into grey and the hardness has changed into the weakness."

"The first love is verry beauty to remember, but isn't the best for spent."

"Love at the first show not only but the reality of an an imagination before
that allways hunt us."

"Among the cases what sold, the imitation love is varry expansive."

"Who is down to his own self never has rival."

"The diplomation is for make and say something which bad and false with the
nice method and attractive."

"Full remember about everyone who has dead, keep all his badly."

"So much the sagacious someone, so much more he keeps his mouth."

"Praise is the sagacious method to get symphaty from sameone."

"So much the older, so much we are notion about the limit of our potency."

"The sagacious man often wouldn't bumpy and never speaks much."

"Attention for the equipment and the method of the someone work, learn for
the motive, and show his hobby. The man can't close his charecter."

"Take the place at your competency and do in conformity with the place that
you set, so that all man will favourably."

"Work, once more work. Work make us feel safe, as irritation, escape place,
place for train and relaxation."

"Work time by the lazy man was tomorrow, to day is for his holiday. (John
Wasley)"

"Don't glad when you see who are hate you is trouble."

"Prove everything ! Hold hard for good."

"Temtation allways obstruck everyone to make good, therefore must
attentive."

"Don't humiliate diligence of weak person, because often a big snake can be
kilted by a wasp of a poisonous."

"When you meet a man who feign not to know about love, you must attentive
because he is the man who has known much about curve of love."

"When you ever broken hearted, officacious charm for it you must make love
for somebody who also ever broken hearted."

"Who isn't love for his mother, it is mean deceit."



"Look for internation, rest, and happiness in tour own self, and don't rest
on others."

"The batter and the pointed words show a weak poetry."

"Every kinds of opium are bad, not only for alcohol, morvin, narcotic, and
idea logic."

"Who is reached success in the world, must sagacious for need his saying."

"The best lesson is the obstruction in living that has exceeded successful
with resoluteness, soul, and accuracy."

"Every day I test my own for three problems; Did I down in my loyality to
work for the others. Did I deceit about my friends. Did I down for make what
had studied for me."

"Don't so sad because havn't offeciate as high office, but think of fit
jester with your personally."

"You have brought into the world with bloody, so you must die also with
bloody for make away with colonialism." (Cut Nyak Dien)"

"Don't shy with concuered because the concuered is a common case for get
high personally."

"Openly is good for animated."

"Anger is some darkness that happen not so long. When it isn't made stoop,
it will command your own. So that, check it and band it."

"For misley the avarice and the ousness, formerly must misley the luxury."

"The conscious with sagacious destitute exactly can become good stimulus."

"So much the capable someone, he is much watch with his mouth."

"Body pleasure is rests with eat little, animated pleasure is rests with do
bed little, heart pleasure is rests with have not so much interest, loose
tongued pleasure is rests which speak nonsense."

"Are four kinds of humen :

1. Man who don't know, also don't know that he don't know, he is stupid man.
Go away from him.

2. Man who don't know, and know he don't know, he is a honest man. Learn him
!

3. Man who know, and he don't know that he know, that man is sleeping. Get
up him.

4. Man who know, also he know that he know, he is sagacious. Follow him."

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