Help please with translating Platonov!

Robert Chandler kcf19 at DIAL.PIPEX.COM
Wed Jan 31 23:03:35 UTC 2001


Dear all,

I am at present going through the proofs of our translation of HAPPY MOSCOW and am deeply dissatisfied with one passage.  It comes at the beginning of chapter 11.  The heroine has just been involved in a serious accident while working as a labourer digging the Moscow Metro.  At present our English reads:

ŒHow on earth did this happen?¹ the foreman asked as he helped her back onto the stretcher.

ŒI can¹t remember,¹ answered the wounded woman.  ŒSome trucks jumped out at me and I couldn¹t get out of their way and they crushed me.  But go away now -- I want to sleep, I don¹t want to feel this pain.¹

This is all right as far as it goes, but we have lost some important symbolism.  The Russian of her speech is:
Ne pomnyu... na menya vagonetki naskochili i zazhali v SLEPOI PROKHOD...

We very much need the metaphorical associations of a phrase like BLIND ALLEY or DEAD END, but these phrases don't really work at a realistic level. I want the passage to work both at a realistic level and at a symbolic level.

I'll be more than grateful for any suggestions.

Robert Chandler

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Use your web browser to search the archives, control your subscription
  options, and more.  Visit and bookmark the SEELANGS Web Interface at:
                http://members.home.net/lists/seelangs/
-------------------------------------------------------------------------



More information about the SEELANG mailing list