Fwd: Platonov, and his metaphors
David Powelstock
pstock at BRANDEIS.EDU
Mon May 21 16:39:23 UTC 2007
I'm also very grateful for Lily's post, which made a number of points I had
on my mind.
Her post and Josh's got me thinking about the "khodite" part. I think the
force of it has to do with the (metaphysically speaking) accidental
character of the workers' presence by comparison with the speaker's sense of
the organic necessity of his own presence. "You're just walking around here"
(like strangers, with no deeper connection), while the speaker, as Lily
acutely observed, has some kind of profound (and profoundly surprising)
connection to the technology--a variation of the 1920s Soviet cultural theme
of the man-machine fusion. If "vy tut khodite" were the only part of the
sentence I were translating, I'd render it, "you're just here." Including
the whole first part, I might venture: "You're just here, on the job." As
for the last part, I agree with Josh that you need some kind of inspired
invention here. I don't see any remotely literal translation that will do
the job (so to speak). Here's what just came to my mind, for better or
worse: "You're just here, on the job, but this is my body." This implies the
"feeling" bit pretty strongly, I think, while being pretty startling.
Incidentally, I must admit that I rather enjoy these collective
brainstorming sessions over translatin problems.
All best wishes,
David
David Powelstock
Asst. Prof. of Russian & East European Literatures
Chair, Program in Russian & East European Studies
Brandeis University
GRALL, MS 024
Waltham, MA 02454-9110
781.736.3347 (Office)
-----Original Message-----
From: SEELANGS: Slavic & East European Languages and Literatures list
[mailto:SEELANGS at BAMA.UA.EDU] On Behalf Of Josh Wilson
Sent: Monday, May 21, 2007 12:11 PM
To: SEELANGS at BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: Re: [SEELANGS] Fwd: Platonov, and his metaphors
First off, thanks to Lily for this insightful comment on the ART of
translation. I do not wish to offend anyone on this list, but it really
seems to me that most of these suggestions I've read so far seem
out-of-the-blue and a little stale. The type of sentences I read time and
time again that always leave me wondering "I wonder the original said (and
meant)." Of course, I could look that up, but translations should not leave
one with that feeling.
Given Lily's contemplation of the subject - that the phrase should sound odd
but also imply a mystical connection with the railroad as well as the fact
that he excels in his job - I would leave many of the words behind and
translate the thought instead. Something like:
"You only work here, go through the motions, but I bleed rail ties."
It does differ from the original, but achieves the same effect of slightly
alienating the listener, and also makes instant sense as a metaphor by
borrowing from a common image about "having something in one's blood."
I've also assumed that "tut khodite" would imply regular motion in a single
place and convey a slight condescension...
Just a(nother) suggestion.
JW
-----Original Message-----
From: SEELANGS: Slavic & East European Languages and Literatures list
[mailto:SEELANGS at BAMA.UA.EDU] On Behalf Of Lily Alexander
Sent: Monday, May 21, 2007 6:15 PM
To: SEELANGS at BAMA.UA.EDU
Subject: [SEELANGS] Fwd: Platonov, and his metaphors
Hi Robert,
I read in the morning all messages sent to you regarding this peace, and I
cannot help thinking that people are giving you good advice of "good
English" that sounds right.
This is exactly the point: this sentence - about feelings - is designed NOT
to sound right. The word "chuvstvuyu" in the context is out of place and
must stick out.
In Platonov, almost in every sentence there is a word unconventionally used,
so his language and the language of his characters sound "childish," as if
they do not know how to use language properly, or "wizardly" as if they know
something about the secret life of words that nobody else knows. He often
uses words "pod uglom" k rechi. They are in strange relationships with his
text, and they are disobediently used.
Like in Vico (each metaphor is a little myth) Platonov's words are metaphors
which are little myths.
For example, with this "chuvstvuiu." Imagine a person, a railroad worker,
who is connected to his rails, and other mechanical things, and his road as
if by means of thousands nerves connected to his body or coming from his
body - he "feels" them all . He is connected with them - a man of the
universe, or universe's "central station." And of course he points out to
others that they are who they are, and he understands himself as this
special being, take it or leave it. They are flabbergasted, offended and
bewildered at once.
So the hero imagines himself (and Platonov does not dispute) as almost some
kind of fantastic being - fantastic human tree with the roots going
everywhere. The image of the man connected with his nerves (and hence
feelings) with the entire world is repeated by Platonov in so many ways and
in so many works. This image is one of Platonov's "foundational metaphors, "
or "root metaphors" of his fictional world.
This is why you stumbled on this word and cannot get through. Maybe the
author does not allow you - until you get it his way. :-)
Regarding the use of the word "pustiak" in another sentence, which we
discussed with you - when people say "eto ne pustiak," this connotes a tiny
resentment. I would not omit "pustiak" or replace it with anything else.
Besides, pustiak is a "little" pustota. Emptiness comes through the word
"pustiak" in Russian. And it is another of Platonov's root metaphors, with a
negative connotation about what the world has become to - tragically. Again,
various images of emptiness come through in abundance in many works of
Platonov.
It seems to me that loosing Platonov's "stick out" words means loosing
Platonov. It is not a good idea to "straighten him out" and clean his clumsy
language because this clumsiness is meaning-making. His "stick out" words
that are almost metaphors are important - often because they are part of his
imagery and of the system of root-metaphors of his world. They are part of
his recurrent vocabulary of word-images.
I think you are "feeling it" (like the character) and cannot get through
this peace without resolving these issues.
I also think that when he uses words incorrectly grammatically or in other
unpredictable ways, he establishes an instant contact with us through the
textual frames.
He uses strange words not simply as attention-getters, but as a sudden
moments of a dialogue on "feeling" or other "sensitive"
things that is directed at us, the readers.
So messing with Platonov's weird usage of words, one can affect Platonov's
communication system with his readers, constructed very carefully and
elaborately. While reading, and running into this strangely used words, one
must stop for a second and subconsciously reflect on language itself - why
the word is used this way and what this means.
Platonov has an amazing flow of course, but he also punctuates his language
with unusual usage, creating some strange rhythm of delays and "stops."
Well, defamiliarization of course - but also something else, putrefy
Platonov's, hard to define.
Good luck.
Lily Alexander
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