Platonov's pioneers

[Robert Chandler]

Dear all,

Thank you for your suggestions.  Here is the entire paragraph.  I’ve
underlined the various changes.


The Pioneer orchestra, having distanced itself, began to play the music of a
young march.  Precisely in step, conscious of the importance of their
future, the barefoot little girls marched past the forge; their frail,
hardening bodies were clothed in sailor suits, red berets lay freely and
easily on their thoughtful, attentive heads and their legs were covered with
the down of youth.  Each of the little girls moving at one with the column’s
common measure was smiling from a sense of her own significance, an
awareness of the seriousness of the life being held clenched within her – a
life essential both to the unity of the column and to the power of the
march.  Any one of these Pioneer girls had been born at the time when dead
horses of social warfare were lying on the fields and not all Pioneers had
possessed skin at the hour of their origin, since their mothers were being
nourished only by the reserves of their own bodies – and so on the face of
each Pioneer girl still remained the difficulty of the powerlessness of
early life, a scantness of body and beauty of expression.  But the happiness
of childhood friendship, the dignity of their own stern freedom and the
realization of the future world in the play of youth designated on the
childish faces a solemn joy that substituted for beauty and homely
plumpness. 

I can see the logic for Tim Sergay’s suggestion that I translate ‘stroi’ as
‘formation’, but I still don’t feel it is right. ‘stroi’ sounds more
ordinary; ‘formation’ seems a more specialized word.

Thanks to Philippe Frison and Boris Degaev for sorting out my stupid
confusion about the relative movements of the orchestra and the pioneers
themselves.  I also, Boris, appreciated your comment on the ‘beauty’ of the
passage.  I do myself think that Platonov writes extraordinarily
beautifully, but that is certainly not the first word that everyone uses!

Here is the Russian again.

Оркестр пионеров, отдалившись, заиграл музыку молодого похода. Мимо кузницы,
с сознанием важности своего будущего, ступали точным маршем босые девочки;
их слабые, мужающие тела были одеты в матроски, на задумчивых, внимательных
головах вольно возлежали красные береты и их ноги были покрыты пухом юности.
Каждая девочка, двигаясь в меру общего строя, улыбалась от чувства своего
значения, от сознания серьезности сжимающейся в ней жизни, необходимой для
непрерывности строя и силы похода. Любая из этих пионерок родилась в то
время, когда в полях лежали мертвые лошади социальной войны, и не все
пионеры имели кожу в час своего происхождения, потому что их матери питались
лишь запасами собственного тела; поэтому на лице каждой пионерки осталась
трудность немощи ранней жизни, скудость тела и красоты выраженья. Но счастье
детской дружбы, осуществленье будущего мира в игре юности и достоинство
своей строгой свободы обозначили на детских лицах важную радость, заменившую
им красоту и домашнюю упитанность.

Vsego dobrogo,

Robert

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