Platonov's pioneers

[Timothy Sergay]

Dear Robert and SEELANGers,

In Robert's translation the only place I might question on semantic
grounds is the treatment of "nepreryvnost' stroia" as "the unity of the
column" rather than "continuity of the column." The life clenched within
each of these young bodies is essential to the stroi precisely because it
vouchsafes the continuity of that stroi through time. That's why it seems
logical that the narrative focus immediately turns to the biological
circumstances of the girls' conception/descent/provenance from their
mothers' bodies. The stroi will continue from the mothers' generation to
the daughters'; it will remain uninterrupted, self-identical from one
generation to the next. I think "continuity" as opposed to "unity" conveys
this idea of "unity over time" with a degree of specificity comparable to
"nepreryvnost'" as opposed to "edinstvo."

Best wishes,
Tim

> Dear all,
>
> Thank you for your suggestions.  Here is the entire paragraph.  I’ve
> underlined the various changes.
>
>
> The Pioneer orchestra, having distanced itself, began to play the music of
> a
> young march.  Precisely in step, conscious of the importance of their
> future, the barefoot little girls marched past the forge; their frail,
> hardening bodies were clothed in sailor suits, red berets lay freely and
> easily on their thoughtful, attentive heads and their legs were covered
> with
> the down of youth.  Each of the little girls moving at one with the
> column’s
> common measure was smiling from a sense of her own significance, an
> awareness of the seriousness of the life being held clenched within her –
> a
> life essential both to the unity of the column and to the power of the
> march.  Any one of these Pioneer girls had been born at the time when dead
> horses of social warfare were lying on the fields and not all Pioneers had
> possessed skin at the hour of their origin, since their mothers were being
> nourished only by the reserves of their own bodies – and so on the face of
> each Pioneer girl still remained the difficulty of the powerlessness of
> early life, a scantness of body and beauty of expression.  But the
> happiness
> of childhood friendship, the dignity of their own stern freedom and the
> realization of the future world in the play of youth designated on the
> childish faces a solemn joy that substituted for beauty and homely
> plumpness.
>
> I can see the logic for Tim Sergay’s suggestion that I translate ‘stroi’
> as
> ‘formation’, but I still don’t feel it is right. ‘stroi’ sounds more
> ordinary; ‘formation’ seems a more specialized word.
>
> Thanks to Philippe Frison and Boris Degaev for sorting out my stupid
> confusion about the relative movements of the orchestra and the pioneers
> themselves.  I also, Boris, appreciated your comment on the ‘beauty’ of
> the
> passage.  I do myself think that Platonov writes extraordinarily
> beautifully, but that is certainly not the first word that everyone uses!
>
> Here is the Russian again.
>
> Îðêåñòð ïèîíåðîâ, îòäàëèâøèñü, çàèãðàë ìóçûêó ìîëîäîãî ïîõîäà. Ìèìî
> êóçíèöû,
> ñ ñîçíàíèåì âàæíîñòè ñâîåãî áóäóùåãî, ñòóïàëè òî÷íûì ìàðøåì áîñûå äåâî÷êè;
> èõ ñëàáûå, ìóæàþùèå òåëà áûëè îäåòû â ìàòðîñêè, íà çàäóì÷èâûõ,
> âíèìàòåëüíûõ
> ãîëîâàõ âîëüíî âîçëåæàëè êðàñíûå áåðåòû è èõ íîãè áûëè ïîêðûòû ïóõîì
> þíîñòè.
> Êàæäàÿ äåâî÷êà, äâèãàÿñü â ìåðó îáùåãî ñòðîÿ, óëûáàëàñü îò ÷óâñòâà ñâîåãî
> çíà÷åíèÿ, îò ñîçíàíèÿ ñåðüåçíîñòè ñæèìàþùåéñÿ â íåé æèçíè, íåîáõîäèìîé äëÿ
> íåïðåðûâíîñòè ñòðîÿ è ñèëû ïîõîäà. Ëþáàÿ èç ýòèõ ïèîíåðîê ðîäèëàñü â òî
> âðåìÿ, êîãäà â ïîëÿõ ëåæàëè ìåðòâûå ëîøàäè ñîöèàëüíîé âîéíû, è íå âñå
> ïèîíåðû èìåëè êîæó â ÷àñ ñâîåãî ïðîèñõîæäåíèÿ, ïîòîìó ÷òî èõ ìàòåðè
> ïèòàëèñü
> ëèøü çàïàñàìè ñîáñòâåííîãî òåëà; ïîýòîìó íà ëèöå êàæäîé ïèîíåðêè îñòàëàñü
> òðóäíîñòü íåìîùè ðàííåé æèçíè, ñêóäîñòü òåëà è êðàñîòû âûðàæåíüÿ. Íî
> ñ÷àñòüå
> äåòñêîé äðóæáû, îñóùåñòâëåíüå áóäóùåãî ìèðà â èãðå þíîñòè è äîñòîèíñòâî
> ñâîåé ñòðîãîé ñâîáîäû îáîçíà÷èëè íà äåòñêèõ ëèöàõ âàæíóþ ðàäîñòü,
> çàìåíèâøóþ
> èì êðàñîòó è äîìàøíþþ óïèòàííîñòü.
>
> Vsego dobrogo,
>
> Robert
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
>  Use your web browser to search the archives, control your subscription
>   options, and more.  Visit and bookmark the SEELANGS Web Interface at:
>                     http://seelangs.home.comcast.net/
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
>

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Use your web browser to search the archives, control your subscription
  options, and more.  Visit and bookmark the SEELANGS Web Interface at:
                    http://seelangs.home.comcast.net/
-------------------------------------------------------------------------