KOTLOVAN: ne mog terpet' ot radio AND v glushi sna

[Robert Chandler]

Dear all,

My deadline is approaching and all the questions I had vaguely wondered
about seem suddenly more pressing!

ONE

I’m not very happy with the word order of the underlined passage.  The
paradox in the Russian is that, on the one hand, Platonov emphasizes through
the word ‘svoego’ that it is Zhachev’s OWN despair, while on the other hand
he emphasizes through the word order that the despair is inflicted on
Zhachev by the radio.  Can anyone improve on my probably over-literal
version?

Иногда Жачев не мог стерпеть от радио своего угнетенного отчаянья души, и он
кричал среди шума сознания, льющегося из рупора:  – Остановите этот звук!
Дайте мне ответить на него !..

Sometimes Zhachev could not endure from the radio his own oppressed despair
of soul, and, amid the noise of consciousness pouring from the loudspeaker,
he would shout out:

Connoisseurs of misprints and misreadings might like to know that earlier
editions all had ‘soznaniya layushchegosya iz rupora’ instead of
‘lyushchegosya iz rupora’ - a misreading I am still fond of!

TWO

‘glukhoi’ and ‘glush’’ both appear many times in this work.  Here is an
example:
И четко сознавая бедную отсталость масс, Сафронов прильнул к какому-то
уставшему и забылся в глуши сна.
‘And, with a precise awareness of the wretched backwardness of the masses,
Safronov clung to someone tired and lost himself in the remote depths of
sleep.’
This isn’t too bad, but – since the words occur so often, I’d love to be
able to find something more vivid. ‘the deaf depths’ is the best I can think
of, but it sounds a bit contrived.  Any other suggestions?

Poka,

R.

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