translation help

[Paul B. Gallagher]

Panorama of Russia wrote:

> Dear SEELANGers,
> 
> I am trying to translate the title of a book by Nikoletta Marchalis into 
> English. Люторь иже лють. Прение о вере царя Ивана Грозного с пастором 
> Рокитой. The best I can manage is Cruel of the cruel. The argument about 
> faith between Tsar Ivan the Terrible and pastor Rokita. My native 
> Russian speaking colleague doesn't accept it, but can't improve it.
> 
> Can anybody set me straight?

I don't have any problem with your choice of "cruel," but the 
grammatical construction strikes me as non-English if adjectives are 
involved. I'd be more inclined toward "(The) Cruelest of the Cruel," 
which is a familiar construction (eschewing the humorously anachronistic 
"Mother of All Cruelties"). I would have less objection if these were 
nouns -- "vanity of vanities," though not entirely natural, is at least 
a permitted structure.

I would also find it more natural to use a colon between the two parts 
of the title; a period, while common in Russian, is rare in English.

-- 
War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
--
Paul B. Gallagher
pbg translations, inc.
"Russian Translations That Read Like Originals"
http://pbg-translations.com

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