HIndenburg ONE LAST TIME

[Robert Chandler]

Here I agree with Paul.  I'm hugely grateful to everyone who contributed to this discussion.  As often happens, it was only after a number of different contributions that all the issues became clear.  But I have now made up my own mind and I do need to get on to other things.  Here is my final version.  

"As for his face, it would make Rembrandt lay down his brush and say, ‘There’s nothing left for me to do.  Nature’s done it all already.’  And it truly would be better to photograph his face than to draw it.  He has a leonine forehead, dense overhanging brows, heavy folds around his mouth, a large nose, the hanging jowls of Field Marshal Hindenburg and bulging, yellowy-grey eyes that are at once wan and inflamed.  In these eyes can be seen kindness and exhaustion, indomitable rage and terrible anguish, both deep thought and crazed fury."

I think it will be clear that some seemingly entirely sensible suggestions don't actually quite work in the context of the sentence as a whole.

One important point (and I'm afraid I have forgotten who made it - it may even have been off list) is that "gindenburgskii" as an adjective (e.g. "gindenbrgskie shcheki) was relatively common in Russian.  "Hindenburg" as an adjective was not common, or certainly less common, in English.  So, whatever we do in this instance, it cannot be identical to the Russian.  Here, fortunately, I don't think this matters in the least.

All the best,

Robert

> 
>> Golly, I think Hindenburg, like Cher, Hitler, and Churchill, is
>> well-enough known by one name. There is no rank in the original
>> Russian. Why oh why is it necessary in the translation? This is
>> getting a little silly.
> 
> Among scholars, I'm sure you're right. Among the general public, "Hindenburg" refers only to the unfortunate dirigible.
> 
> -- 
> War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
> --
> Paul B. Gallagher
> pbg translations, inc.
> "Russian Translations That Read Like Originals"
> http://pbg-translations.com
> 
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Robert Chandler, 42 Milson Road, London, W14 OLD





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