Ukraine/The Ukraine

[Michele A Berdy]

The question is, if they can tell us how to speak English, can we tell them how to speak Ukrainian?

You probably meant to write: If they can ask us to use a form that is, in their view, more respectful, can we ask them the same?
I guess so. Why not?
If someone asks me to call her Ms., I don't call her Miss; if someone asks me not to call him a Gypsy, I call him Roma; if someone prefers to be called an African-American instead of a Negro, I comply. I don't have to, but why would I want to offend someone? 

(Never in a million years will I get why this is a big deal.) 

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